E 1999 Eternal

In honor of the first of tha month of February, I'd like to recommend this album by the hip-hop artist group, the Bone Thugs 'N Harmony. These gentlemen are known for their abilities to speak very fast about killing people. But what I've always loved about Bone Thugs 'N Harmony (teens refer to the group as quote-unquote Bone) is their use of concrete imagery (they're the only music group I know that has made reference to Mossberg), their unblinking dedication to depicting life in a terrible neighborhood of Cleveland (redundant), and their hatred of police. Srsly, these guys are pretty much better writers than half the people in MFA programs.

Glenn reviewed Creepin' once.


Rating: Let there be coffins for all of your offspring%

Dead Guy Ale

A Month Of Halloweenie Reviews #11

_____ ____________ ___________ skeleton on a box, _____________ pretty decent beer __ pale _______ _____ _________ probably ______ ____________ ______ _____________year round ___________ _____________ winter, the hints of ________ the ___________ common ____________ you could do a lot worse _______________

RATING: 73%

Death

A Month Of Halloweenie Reviews #9

There's nothing scarier than death. Nobody really knows what happens to our consciousness when we die, and all of human civilization has been built around groups of people who claim to hold that answer. Every fear has roots in death, and everybody will die, from the famous to the obscure, sinners to saints, barbershop quartets to professional fluffers. One good thing about death is that without it, human progress would stagnate, because what motivation would anybody have to create knowing that the self is its own eternal legacy? Well, I guess that's a pretty good thing, actually.

RATING: 100%

Calacas

A Month Of Halloweenie Reviews #5

Calacas are little skeleton figurines dressed to party that are associated with El Dia De Los Muertos. The Day Of The Dead is like Mexican Halloween, except it lasts two days and culminates in a picnic on the graves of loved ones. Skeletons are my second favorite generic monster, so of course I think these figures are hella sweet. In Mexican culture, the dead are (supposed to be) celebrated, not grieved, so these figurines are usually doing fun stuff like smoking, drinking, carrying a baby, or cooking a fucking pig's head. Also, I guess if the skeleton on the left is a woman then she is totally flashing her skeletitties.

RATING: 72%

"Bones" by The Killers

So everybody loooooved the first Killers album (the rockin' Hot Fuss), but general consensus seems to be that the second album (Sam's Town) lay on the fail continuum somewhere between fail and moderate fail.

I've been told I have pretty poor taste in music, but really enjoyed Sam's Town - the track "Bones", however, was a middle-of-the-road song that deserved a video less than "This River Is Wild". Actually, this was probably my fifth or sixth favorite song on the CD, but for whatever reason, Tim Burton directed his first ever music video for this song, probably just because he could find a way to involve some skeletons.

In closing, hooray for theme day/week/whatever.

RATING: 52% (which means that it's better than Bones, but worse than Bones)

(image courtesy of wikipedia, where no one cares if you link back to it)

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

This is the kind of book that makes young white women in MFA programs wistful: it's nicely written, it sold well and was critically accclaimed, it was released in mass-market form to be snapped up by fools in airports across the country. They're even making a movie out of it with Mark Wahlberg and that little girl who cried "Celia!" in those Atonement commercials. Though the premise of the story may seem a bit gimmicky (dead girl watches aftermath of her death on her family from Heaven), it is a smart gimmick. The circumstances of her death are pretty brutal and keep the book from straying into Hallmark-movie-of-the-week territory. My pet peeve is when writers, in an effort to sound literary, spend 18 pages describing a knitted potholder hanging in grandma's kitchen; this book doesn't do that, and is a pretty fast read with plenty of emotion and action to keep the ADHD crowd happy, but without the completely predictable plotline and cringe-worthy phrases of most books that make it to mass market. I may have cringed a little, but I also cried.

RATING: 64%

Creepin On Ah Come Up by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony

This is a pretty good rap album as far as EPs go. I like Bone Thugs because they rap really fast and also sound kind of weird and way different, because they sort of try to sing sometimes but aren't very good at it, but that ends up being better than if they were good at singing. Anyway, this album was immortalized in film history when the track "Down Foe My Thang" was used in the seminal classic "Weed Time With George And Carlos." Also "No Surrender" is good.

RATING: 66%

Bones

Bones is a FOX drama about this chick named Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan. Well, personally I think Law & Order or CSI is a lot better than this show, but they try to be different by adding some humor every now and then. In conclusion I don't know anything about this show, so feel free to add anything you'd like if you know or care about the show because I don't.

RATING: 25%

Bones

On the original Star Trek you had the trinity of Kirk, Spock, and Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy. Kirk was all emotion, Spock was all logic, and Bones, as the Enterprise's chief medical officer, was somewhere in between. He was also a gigantic racist. Every single episode he's calling Spock "you pointy-eared" this or "you green-blooded" that. I'm pretty sure in present day times Spock probably could have filed a complaint with HR and Bones would have at least had to go through some sensitivity training.

RATING: 76%

Bones

Bones are an important kind of thing that we all have under our skin, muscles, veins, etc. Without bones we would probably just flop around and die because we wouldn't be able to move to get a sandwich and also our vital organs would be totally vulnerable to attack by outside forces such as birds and monsters. Skeletons are what scientists call people who are made just of bones, and the one advantage skeletons have over you and me is that they look awesome, but one disadvantage they have is that they are dead. In closing I would just like to say stop the hate because one day we will all be skeletons and look awesome unless we're getting cremated.

RATING: 89%