M. Gary Neuman is a
charlatan and an
idiot. He apparently knows next to nothing about how men think, and even less about infidelity. I can't decide if he's actually stupid, or if he's exploiting women's insecurities in order to make money and get on
Oprah, but either way his advice on why men cheat is spectacularly full of pastel-hued shit. Women who are interested in why men are
actually unfaithful might want to read Matt Ridley's
The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature or some other
book that addresses human mating behaviour from an
evolutionary psychological perspective. Some men undoubtedly cheat because they feel "emotionally disconnected" from their partners. Most men, however, cheat because 1) cheating makes them feel like they're
winning the
Game of Life (which, for better or worse, isn't an entirely
zero sum affair) and 2) they're opportunists and they think they might be able to get away with it. The implication here is that HE DOESN'T WANT
HER INSTEAD OF
YOU, he wants
you AND her AND
whoever else he can get his
dirty paws on. Following Neuman's awful advice and
applauding when he burns the toast at breakfast like he's a retarded child is likely going to give him an ego boost that puts him
more in the mood to cheat on you, not less. Forcing your man to
talk about his feelings with you more will only motivate him to strangle you in your sleep with a bungee cord or a length of piano wire. If you really don't want him to cheat on you, 1) don't leave him alone with other women, not even for 10 minutes; 2) let him know how much it hurts you, and be serious, not melodramatic; and 3) be prepared to accept that he
might still do it anyway, or be ready to leave him if you can't. If that doesn't work for you, ladies, I recommend
homosexuality or
self-abuse.
RATING: Primate%
(Image from
www.oprah.com. Of course, not all men are
pigs and heartless
bastards; some are
pussies,
ugly and/or
broke, and the rare man just has excellent
self-discipline and doesn't want to jeopardize a
good thing. And has a
10 inch penis. And wins the lottery every year on his birthday.)
My God, the late 1980s was a bizarre friggin' time to be alive. Go back in your mind to the time when Pee-wee Herman was one of the biggest names in children's entertainment. Remember all the neon and the puppets and screaming real loud? I bet you'd think that the guest list for his Christmas special would've featured some really big names. Sure, there were a few: Magic Johnson, Oprah, Cher, and Whoopi Goldberg. But Zsa Zsa Gabor? Frankie and Annette? Little Richard? And musical performances from Grace Jones, k.d. lang, Charo, and the Del Rubio Triplets? Say what?
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