Neologisms

bromance, broseph, dudevorce, man-crush, lesbro, hasbian, doucher, douchelganger, douchebagette, douchetarded, fucktarded, manorexic, pregorexic, Octo-Mom, epic-fail, unfriend, lollz, carpocalypse, recessionista, sexting, ginormous, junk-in-the-trunk, neighbornet, swine flucation, swine break, shitreous, Twitterrhea, tweet (v.), facebook (v.), dubya, bushism, tough economic times (political), economic crisis (political), freedom fries (political, dated), ‘the N word’ (political), folksonomy, mcmansion, mcjob, mcCainiac, demotards, brokeback.


Rating: Idiocracy

Protestant Guilt

Is like Catholic Guilt, only with a cardigan. Is like Jewish Guilt, without the sitcom. Is like Muslim Guilt, without the HALALALALALALALALLAH! It's different than White Guilt or Hawaiian Indigenous Peoples Guilt. If you feel like experiencing it, try having a few pints with a crazy foreign person and then driving home and asking yourself, "Yes that was fun, but shouldn't I have been plowing a field instead?"



Rating: Youmightbeagoodpersonbutthatdoesn'tmeanyouaren'tgoingtohellanyway%

(Picture courtesy of John Calvin, motherfucker)

Boom!

No one else has mentioned it, so I guess it’s up to your good ol’ sports uterus to take the reins: John Madden has retired. Madden is best known for his sometimes bizarre but always entertaining color commentary during NFL games, his best-selling video game and his use of the telestrator. But he also won a Super Bowl with the Raiders before they became a grotesque joke. I’ll miss Madden; he’s pretty much the background noise to my childhood, and anytime I hear a bumbling, corpulent, superlative-heavy commentator, I’ll think sweetly on Madden’s eyebrows.

Rating: 97%