Five Guys Burgers and Fries

Several locations of the much lauded Five Guys hamburger chain have recently opened in Houston, and after reading more than enough glowing reviews from burger connoisseurs nationwide I finally decided to give them a try. The "regular" burger comes with two fresh, never frozen 100% American beef patties (however, they do offer a smaller version with only one if you're a wimp, or hate life) with a wide variety of toppings and condiments. Unfortunately, I found the burger was incredibly disappointing, although the toppings were fresh and liberally applied. I'm not saying it was bad, because it was decent, but it's nothing impressive or spectacular. It's honestly too hard to justify eating at Five Guys when there are a handful of other joints in Houston that offer a way better burger. The only draw for Five Guys are their fresh-cut Idaho french fries, which are incredible. So make a trip out to Five Guys sometime and order the "large" fries, with a small burger on the side.

RATING: 60%

Private Selection Angus Beef Patties with Swiss Cheese and Mushrooms

I'm not usually big on beef, or frozen meat in general, but I hurt my foot the other day, I don't drive, and these were in the freezer. A better name would be "Private Selection Angus Salt Patties with Salt and Salt." Also, I don't know what the big deal is with "Angus beef." Maybe it's the Albacore tuna of the beef world, but it seems like overnight all beef became Angus beef, so it can't be that great, can it?

RATING: 20%, but it might have been as high as 45% if I'd had a bun to put it on.

(Image from www.industryplayer.com, but they don't really look like that.)

Jr's Corned Beef Omelet

I started out July 4th this year by having brunch with a couple of friends at Junior's, which is pretty much one of the greatest places to go and stuff yourself full of delicious unhealthy food. This time I had a corned beef omelet, and it was damn tasty. (That's DAMN tasty in case you missed it the first time.) This thing basically consists of an entire cow's worth of corned beef cooked up inside some eggs. It's salty and beefy and wonderful.

Rating: 88%