Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - "Babel"

As a poet I really like all the language craziness when the crew gets aphasia but the episode's a little boring since we figure they won't kill the whole crew in the fourth episode of a brand new tv show.

RATING: 53%

Enterprise S2E5 - "A Night In Sickbay"

Archer's dog gets sick (shoulda left him at home, pal!) so the captain mopes around sickbay all episode. Two thoughts: a) this crew spends a lotta time in their underwear and 2) sickbay is a pretty bad term when you think about it. What if we called hospitals "sickhouses" or cemeteries "corpseholes?"

RATING: 26%

Sleepaway Camp

If you've heard of Sleepaway Camp, you probably already know how it ends. The final scene is easily the most memorable part of the movie. The rest of Sleepaway Camp is definitely worth a look though, mainly because the tone of this movie is so sleazy/douchey. Almost every character in the movie is some kind of wise ass creep with a New York accent (quote: "Hey Angela, what's the matter with you? Don't ya know how to tawk?"). I've seen Sleepaway Camp a number of times over the years and my opinion of the movie has evolved from "this movie is stupid" to "this movie is decent." On this most recent viewing I actually noticed a lot more of the little plot elements going on between the scenes of assholes being murdered and children swearing at one another. Basically, if you haven't seen it before, it comes down to this: it's no masterpiece but this movie might be a little bit better than you think it is.

Rating: 62%

Fun Fact: One of the camp's cooks was played by Robert Earl Jones, father of James Earl Jones.

(Image from deathensemble.com)

A Month of Ill-Fated Consumer Products #10: Esperanto

One day some guy realized that Europeans seemed to be having a hard time understanding each other's jibber jabber, so he made up some other, different jibber jabber that they could supposedly understand easier. It never really caught on. Why Europeans have to talk all fancy instead of just saying it like we do here in America is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with decadent effeminacy and intellectual frou frou. By the way: William Shatner.

RATING: Fiku vin%

(Image from shopturtlepie.wordpress.com.)

Pluralz

I really hate it when some twat uses Z to form a plural, like Bratz (a line of dolls that teaches prepubescent girls about the joys of spending their parents' money and dressing like whores), or American Dreamz. It wasn't even cool back in the 80's when some idiots thought it looked trendy or high tech or some shit, and 25 years later it's just fucking moronic. I understand it's hard for corporate marketing drones to be creative because they get all their ideas from T.V., but a culture can only eat its own shit for so long before it starves to death. Metaphorically speaking, I mean, because North Americans are fat as shit too.

RATING: Fuck off with the plural Z%

(Image from www.iambrianwong.com.)