The Evil Dead

The Evil Dead is a horror movie that everybody knows about some friends who go to a cabin and then accidentally turn into demons, known in this movie as "deadites." It is not to be confused with another movie with this exact plot, called Evil Dead 2. That's standard fare for horror movies, sure, but in this case a bunch of the exact same things happen and one of the characters is the same and no reference is made to the first movie. Um. If you haven't seen this movie, that's totally crazy and I'm not even going to address it.

RATING: 73%

Babies

Babies are loud stupid fart factories. They can't even talk! How stupid is that? Also they like to crap everywhere. Nice work, I can teach a dog not to do that, you supposed pinnacle of evolution. Also everybody is always like "Oh, how cute!" or "So adorable!" but really babies aren't cute. They look like if you told a dumb idiot five year old to make a clay sculpture of a human then whoops! All shriveled and the proportions are way off. You get an F-, you dumb five year old, and now you're in remedial classes forever, with all the dumb babies who like to cry all the time and then giggle like they know something. You know who else wears diapers, stupid? Monkeys in comedy shows, that's who.

RATING: 11%

new york city apartment brokers

There really is nothing worse in the whole world. Each one is full of concentrated evil. Seriously.

Rating: Am I allowed to give lower than 0%?

Photo: I found that photo at this website, http://carmenrealestate.com, and I swear that is the second photo that popped up when I typed in "broker" for a google image search, and boy doesn't he fit the description?