Finger Jug of Teacher's Whiskey

I was going to say that I don't drink Teacher's just because I'm a teacher, but that's not quite true.

RATING: 40% alcohol









(Image from www.argonautliquor.com, but it's the wrong size.)

Urination

No, I'm not reviewing the finer subtleties of urine, but rather the act of expelling urine from the urethra (in my case, the penis). I like urinating most of the time. When I've been drinking, and have to urinate, it's just time away from drinking, but sometimes you need a break from the day. And sometimes, you've got to do it so bad the ladies describe it as orgasmic. Hey, I'm not the guy who makes those groaning sounds while he urinates. Show some class, man. Urinating is probably more fun for guys because you can urinate on a church lawn at 3am, behind a dumpster off the freeway, in a bottle, etc. For women those tricks are not so easy. But hey, it beats pissing out a kidney stone. Unless you're a woman.

RATING: 80%

My flight to Houston - Layover and Second Leg

After the long first flight, the layover at DFW and second leg of my flight (DFW to Hobby) are a bit of a blur. I bought a big bottle of water, was disappointed but not surprised that the newsstand did not carry Yoga Journal, and had a hard time finding food at the airport that was not fried. And my flight was delayed by about 45 min because they were waiting on the flight crew to arrive (were they on another delayed flight or hungover and late for work? We'll never know!), but I was upgraded to an Exit row so that makes up for the delay, I suppose. But then the pitiful lady next to me on the plane did not have anything to read or an ipod (no Vedder for her), and kept looking at me like I was supposed to entertain her (I am not a clown, lady), so points off for that. But the flight was short so whatever. Oh, and I saw that spider on the wall in the airport.

Rating: 67%

My flight to Houston - First Leg

The first leg of my flight to Houston (LGA to DWF) was pretty okay. My ipod played lots of Bon Iver, Eddie Vedder, and Radiohead (the Holy Trinity, Vedder is Jesus), and I read this month's issue of O Magazine (a guilty pleasure). The woman next to me did not bother me and there were no crying babies (successful flight musts). And I flew over some mountains (picture at left) or something. But it was a really long flight, points off for that. Also points off for American Airlines not being JetBlue (where are my damn blue potato chips, AA?!).

Rating: 67%

Obama's Elf YouTube video

This gets funnier every time I play it, but something tells me it won't last and soon I'll think it's completely lame.

Rating: 60% (for now)