Computer Paper

Having copious amounts of computer paper, or copy paper, can signify several things: 1) You are a student and have to write a billion papers; 2) You are applying for jobs and are printing our neat stacks of your resume but are too cheap to spring for the prettier paper stock; 3) You are a writer and waste countless paper and postage sending out your stories, poems, and manuscripts that never get published. ("All of the above" is a popular possibility, too!) When I was an undergrad I bought more expensive, brighter white paper so that my professors would be blinded by the bright white of the stock into missing that my papers were empty and repetitive. It worked! But now that I am a poor writer/student, I see value in the cheap, thinny-thin paper that my university uses on its public printers -- it is lighter! It costs less to send a 20-page story on dull leaf paper than it does on bright, heavy paper. And whatever you print it on, it's still the same shitty story. So save yourself some money and get the cheapest pack of printer paper from Office Depot -- it's like $5.99 for 500 sheets, which is like... more than a penny for each sheet I guess. Actually that doesn't seem like such a good deal. Go print at school for free.

RATING: 59%

A Magazine

A magazine is a stupid thing to buy. It usually costs around $5, and it contains almost no information you can't already find on the internet. Like for instance pretend you were at the store today buying cookies for your students and you happened to see a magazine featuring an article about the best small town diners in Texas. Why bother buying it? A) if you wanted to find out about the best small town diners in Texas you could just Google search it, and B) I'm never going to do that anyway because I don't care enough. Also there were like 50 pages of ads for watches before any legitimate articles started so in conclusion Baudrillard was right when he said print was dead the Internet rules. I don't know if he said that but everybody else around here sounds all smart and I wanted to board the brain train.

RATING: 31%