Crisis On Infinite Earths

I suppose if you're a comic book company that's been around for 46 years you might have a real clusterfuck of continuity. So what better way to resolve that problem with a brand new 12 issue clusterfuck called Crisis on Infinite Earths? Back in 1985, DC had a problem, because different writers over the years had done different things with their characters: Superman was the last surviving Kryptonian or maybe it was Supergirl, Batman caught his parents' killer or maybe he didn't, The Flash was something who even knows. Anyway, they had this event to get everything on the right track but there's no use explaining it because even though I read a lot of comics and just read the whole thing, all I remember about it was that it was 12 issues of beautifully drawn nonsense in which Flash and Supergirl die. DC continues to have these events to straighten everything up every few years but who cares, they're largely incomprehensible even if they kill Batman.

RATING: 39%

The Infinity Gauntlet

The Infinity Gauntlet was a comic book miniseries from the early 90s, and the first "event" book I ever got into. The plot involves this crazy dude Thanos who gets all this power from the titular glove so that Lady Death will go out with him on a date or something. To impress her he kills half of all life in the universe, usually I just say a joke or put my coat on a puddle but whatever. Anyway, spoilers, lots of superheroes die like Spider-man and Iron Man and Captain America Man, but it turns out to be a glorified What If? book when at the end this one broad undoes everything Thanos did the whole story long. In conclusion it is fun and the art is pretty but probably not worth $25 for the trade paperback.

RATING: 58%

JLA/Avengers

Look, I know a lot about comic books, and even I can't really explain this one. Basically, the Justice League of America is DC Comics' main hero team, featuring Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, etc, and the Avengers is Marvel Comics' main hero team, featuring Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, etc. This book written a few years ago was a big crossover event, and its plot is convoluted and incomprehensible, but what keeps this from being lame is George Perez's amazing art. Anyway, if you click on the image there and can identify more than half of the characters then maybe check out the book if you get a chance but don't call me when you're confused.

RATING: 61%