I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025)

A group of friends cause a traffic accident which leaves a man dead. They form a pact to cover up the incident and never speak about it again. One year later, someone starts sending members of the group threatening messages. Sound familiar? It almost sounds like a remake of 1997’s I Know What You Did Last Summer. But it’s not a remake of 1997’s I Know What You Did Last Summer because it features characters from 1997’s I Know What You Did Last Summer. And it’s the reliance on the characters from 1997’s I Know What You Did Last Summer that most brings down 2025’s I Know What You Did Last Summer. Well, that and the running time. And the multiple unnecessary endings. And the misandry. And the unlikable characters…

Rating: 54%

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Sissy

An influencer gets invited to her old childhood friend’s bachelorette party but then it turns out her former bully is there! Things take a violent turn and not everyone walks away with sashes and tiaras. It’s also pretty funny, so I do recommend.

RATING: 73%

Lamb

A couple farmers deliver a baby from a sheep that turns out to be half human. This is one of those “horror” movies whose purview is mostly just sadness. You’ll feel bad watching it but won’t be scared!

RATING: 67%

Alien: Romulus

A poor miner and her robot brother try to escape their planet with a salvaged ship fulla eggs, and not the kind you can benedict! The first two thirds are kind of bland, but the last bit is great.

RATING: 77%

Longlegs

An FBI agent searches for clues in a series of murders that seem totally random. But maybe there’s more to it hm??? People flipped their shit over this but I think if you weren’t raised Capital C Christian it won’t be as scary, though it’s nice to have lots of long unmoving shots every once in a while.

RATING: 76%

MaXXXine

Well, the lone survivor from X has made it in Hollywood! As a porn star anyway. But hey why not try and break into the mainstream, that’s what the lady who killed all her friends wanted. It’s flashy and fun but nowhere near as good as Pearl.

RATING: 71%

Kids vs. Aliens

From the heart of Dartmouth comes Jason Eisener's Kids vs. Aliens. Imagine if the kids from Stranger Things met up with the kids from Super 8 but instead of being into Spielberg and D&D, they were really into Troma and the WWE. It's a coming of age tale about family and creativity that's not afraid to get weird and gross at times.

Rating: 60%

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Children of the Corn (2020)

I don't mean to wax philosophical about the original Children of the Corn movie, but it seems to me like the makers of that film were trying to suggest that fervent puritanical dogma could be just as scary and destructive as any monster lurking out in the darkness. Whereas, the maker's of 2020's Children of the Corn seem to have been thinking, "what if there was a scary monster made out of corn stalks that could rip a lady in half? That'd be cool, right?" Children of the Corn (2020) is a slightly modernized take on the Children of the Corn story. In this version, the children are led by a young girl named Eden, the sole survivor of an incident wherein the town's elders massacred a bunch of orphans. Early in the film, our lead character Bo is warned that by trying to fix any of the problems in her town, she would only end up making them worse. And then that's exactly what happens. Her efforts ultimately lead to the death of all her friends and family. At the end of the day, all of the Children of the Corn movies are kinda dumb and this one is no exception.

Rating: 55%

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Scream VI

Arriving in theatres a little more than a year after Scream (2022), Scream VI changes things up by moving the Ghostface action to New York City. The film is also set around Halloween, which allows for countless references to other horror movie characters and franchises. The characters that survived Scream (2022) are a little less likeable this time around, as almost every one of them takes some time in the film to acknowledge the trauma that they've been through. The legacy characters feel fairly unnecessary this time around. Fans might lament the absence of Sidney Prescott, but it's hard to say if she would have really added much to the story. The new setting allows for some variety in the kills and set pieces, which keeps the movie from feeling stale. But it also feels like the filmmakers played it safe this time around. It's possible that the quick turnaround between films didn't leave them enough time to really flesh out the plot. Maybe they're just holding back for the next movie. It feels pretty safe to assume that there'll be a Scream VII at some point.

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Early on in the film, one of the characters is seen watching Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan.

Skinamarink

 

The creepiest movie about ceiling corners you’ll ever see! The fake grain did get a little headache inducing after a while though.

RATING: 67%

Scream (2022)

Scream 4 was all about remakes, whereas 2022's Scream is fixated on the concept of the legacy sequel. A franchise extension that establishes new characters and creates new storyline opportunities for the series. While, at the same time, finding convoluted new ways to tie itself back to the mythology of the previous films and generate a means to trot out a number of familiar faces. Thankfully, it's still a Scream film, so there's a prominent monologue that happily points out the movie's own bullshit. Making another Scream film, without Wes Craven, was always going to be a risky maneuver but it's actually handled pretty well here. The performances are good all around and the new Gen Z characters are never irritating. The film's preposterous premise and meta approach to fan culture might divide some audiences but if you put on this movie hoping to see Ghostface stab the shit out of some people, you won't go away disappointed.

Rating: 69%

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Barbarian

 

In 2022 people are always like “This is groundbreaking horror nobody’s ever seen” and then it’s like a women is r*ped and tortured in horrible ways. This movie was still pretty decent and did interrogate the trope but not as wild as I was led to believe.

RATING: 73%

The Sadness

 

Sorry I missed a day - I was too busy to watch any spooky movies. Well let me make up for it with this parade of brutality! A government mismanaged response to a pandemic (lol oops) and everybody gets a plague that turns them into murder and sex crazies. On Shudder they had a special warning about gore and violence that they never do (it’s Shudder ffs) if that gives you any idea about how off rails this movie is. 

RATING: 79%

The Munsters

 

Well not every horror flick has to be, like, Hostel or Terrifier 2 if the reviews are to be believed. This one’s a sweet little family flick of how Herman and Lily met and fell in love etc. It’s got knockout casting and it captures the atmosphere of the original perfectly (although in a bit more color). Sure, it’s probably about 30 minutes too long but who’s gonna take away Rob Zombies toys when he’s having so much fun?

RATING: 61%

X

 

A 1970s pornographic film crew decide to rent an elderly couples place to do some pornographing. Well cool but the old lady who lives there maybe regrets not being able to herself have been a porn star, or something. Gotta wait til I watch Pearl to figure that one out! Ti West is an interesting filmmaker because I’m always like “Ti West made this, it’s gonna be good.” But then I realize I haven’t ever loved one of his movies start to finish. This one I did like a lot tho.

RATING: 70%

Malignant

 

A woman gets hit in the head and then all sorts of murdering starts happening to people she knows, and even some people she doesn’t know she knows. It’s a kinda by the numbers James Wan joint until, yes, just like everybody said, the last half hour just goes buck wild! My major gripe though is there is a part where they just superimposed the giant “Silvercup” sign from Silvercup Studios in Queens over some Seattle apartments. Like, it’s instantly recognizable to the millions and millions of people who’ve ever driven across the 59th Street Bridge, whaddaya think you’re doing James Wan???

RATING: 75%