Monday, June 15, 2009

Don Miguel's Queso Dinner

Sometimes you might have just gotten done exercising and find yourself super hungry, broke, and in the frozen food section, and that might be a time when you may think buying a $1 frozen "Queso Dinner" is a good idea. Friends, it is not at all a good idea. That unrecognizable slop in the picture has about all the delicious taste of a ruptured appendix au jus. My only guess as to why it's called "Queso Dinner" and not "Cheese Enchilada Dinner" is that there was some legal issue raised about actually calling this something that could be confused with a familiar food product, and referring to it in Spanish would be enough to ward off FDA lawyers. I don't necessarily believe in the concept of universal justice, but if I have done something terrible in a past life like murder a bunch of orphans or sink some Spanish ships I believe after eating this for dinner my penance has been served.

RATING: 9%

19 comments:

Viking Andrew said...

I've actually had Don Miguel's Queso Dinner. The best part of the meal is the dessert: a staggering dose of heartburn.

laurie said...

Man, that is some gross looking shit.

Internet John said...

Do you still have the box? I'm curious how much sodium it has in it.

Also, I heard through the Asian grapevine that you love intestine au jus. And fish heads.

Chris said...

I went ahead and did the research.

1,080mg of sodium/dinner

Internet John said...

That's high, but not as high as I thought it was going to be.

glenn's gf said...

omg.
do i need to come home and make another baked ziti?

Chris said...

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Sure it's a $1, but it's not worth the long term health effects.

R Kelley tag said...

glen if you have a stroke can i have your comic collection

Internet John said...

Fit for a samsquanch.

Anonymous said...

For a bunch of creative, interesting, educated people, your collective curt dismissal of the simulated cheese in this frozen dinner shows very little curiosity. Many of you even claim to be artists! Shouldn't you be interested enough in your own "disgust" to be a bit self-critical? Is it the glamorization of rice and beans that puts you off? Is it the realism? I think this meal creates a fairly sophisticated, troubling gastrointestinal experience, and if you aren't sophisticated enough to engage in a dialogue with it, then you're not worth the plastic it's packed in.

Viking Andrew said...

@Anon,

95% for that comment.

R Kelley tag said...

that was awsome

R Kelley tag said...

lols be w/u

R Kelley tag said...

now thats what i call r3 vol 3

laurie said...

I <3 R3.

R Kelley tag said...

yo glen check this out

Anonymous said...

i happened to find this randomly because it was on something like the 12th page of google after i searched "pseudo queso." so here's the deal, sparky: fake cheese has more than enough nutritional merit and Don Miguel has enough culinary sensibilities to be able to ignore and even quash your so-called "review," but i have to leave you a tip. if you want to "review" something, especially ALL 3 COURSES of an ENTIRE FROZEN DINNER, you'd better come up with something a little better than "everything in this meal looks like diarrhea." (Yes, I know you didn't say that, and I don't care.) It's certainly easy enough to tell that your talents will never make it into the Don Queso factory kitchen, so i wouldn't worry about offending anyone with your word vomit. maybe you should go take a class, brush up on some grammar skills, and write something again when you have something worthwhile to say.

R Kelley tag said...

um yeah ha ha thanks for that dude

*crook appears from off-stage*

R Kelley tag said...

(liek a shepherds crooks)