Babies are loud stupid fart factories. They can't even talk! How stupid is that? Also they like to crap everywhere. Nice work, I can teach a dog not to do that, you supposed pinnacle of evolution. Also everybody is always like "Oh, how cute!" or "So adorable!" but really babies aren't cute. They look like if you told a dumb idiot five year old to make a clay sculpture of a human then whoops! All shriveled and the proportions are way off. You get an F-, you dumb five year old, and now you're in remedial classes forever, with all the dumb babies who like to cry all the time and then giggle like they know something. You know who else wears diapers, stupid? Monkeys in comedy shows, that's who.RATING: 11%
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9 comments:
Preach on, brotha.
TS
"Kids suck."
-Mama Fratelli in The Goonies
I hate babies at the movies and restaurants. Leave them at home...with someone.
My cousin's baby was crying the loudest I've ever heard a baby cry. It's annoying at first, then you realize the baby has no idea what real suffering is, and then it's funny.
Oh clay sculpture is far too kind. I think it was a Play-Doh sculpture that five year old ended up making.
If you can afford to spend $14 a pop on IMAX tickets, you can afford to spend $20 to get the neighbor-kid to watch your baby. Live in a posh neighborhood where none of the kids would deign to work for money? Then hire a Supernanny. There should be a fee for taking a baby to a movie. There should also be mandatory future counseling for taking your baby to see The Dark Knight at age zero.
Or taking your 7 year old to see Eastern Promises. People should be required to take a test before they have children. Well, I guess that's a little fascist.
At least you can teach a chimp to smoke.
And my 20 month old can talk. Yesterday he stood up on his change table, threw his bath towel on the floor and said, "FUCK!"
Girl babies are worse, because you have to clean poop out of their vaginas.
I like the YouTube laughing baby (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk) but if i had to wipe his little butt I don't think I would like him as much.
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