Samuel Adams Coastal Wheat

A Beer For Every State #12 - Massachusetts

My friends, who are admittedly mostly pinko liberal hippies, tend to deride every beer that is not out of a craft brewery, and while I agree that craft and micro breweries usually put out the best beers, I have to admit there are a few big beers out there I'm partial to - Shiner, Blue Moon, MGD 64 (jk on the last one). Samuel Adams puts out some good seasonals, and I think the Coastal Wheat was pretty good. Wheat beers are kind of hard to get wrong, I think, especially with everybody putting all kinds of citrus slices in them to try to turn them into a Zima or something. I can't imagine a situation where you'd have to drink this instead of Blue Moon, a much better big company wheat, but I don't really know what Massachusetts is like. Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in Hell!

RATING: 60%

Ryan's All-Time Top Ten Video Games: #7 Rock Band

Karaoke!
With instruments!
The more fun your friends are
exponentially increases the fun of this game.

Rating: 93%

Sonic Nurse by Sonic Youth

You know, I always thought I liked Murray Street a lot more than this album, but listening to it for the first time in a few years I realized it's one of Sonic Youth's best. They claimed it was their attempt at a classic rock record, like something by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, which I can sort of understand - there aren't any four part harmonies, but the guitars are really gentle and layered in a way that can best be described as pretty. It's probably the least "aggressive" SY album out there. Maybe it'd be in my top three of their albums? I can understand why 24 year old me only thought it was ok - he had some pent up issues that were probably best solved by listening to At The Drive-In on repeat.

RATING: 91%

Ryan's All-time Top Ten Video Games #8 Silent Hill (Playstation)

This game is like stepping into a well-crafted eerie-fest of a horror movie. A mystery to solve, undead creatures to run away from, sounds like a sleepless night well spent. A lot like Resident Evil, but with a far more overwhelming atmosphere.

Rating: 92%

Storage Wars

Storage Wars is the kind of reality television programming that appeals to both my thrifty side and my hoarder side. The show follows a handful of buyers as they bid against each other for abandoned storage lockers. After purchasing a storage locker, the buyers rummage through the locker's contents, hoping to generate a profit from what they find. Sometimes it's valuable art and antiques and sometimes it's garbage and used porn. The people behind the show were smart enough to cast some interesting buyers (my favorite being Barry Weiss, the eccentric collector with the Charlie Sheen wardrobe) as well as establishing a formula for the show that's part Scrappers and part Antiques Roadshow.

Rating: 73%

(Image from blog.sparefoot.com)

Ryan’s All-Time Top Ten Video Games: #9 Rampage

Fulfills your giant monster destroys the city fantasies. Not a touch of sophistication or precision here, just full-on joyous destruction.

Rating: 91%

Wax Packs

I haven't collected trading cards since the mid-nineties, but after a recent nostalgia fueled eBay session I ended up with half a dozen unopened wax packs. Until the late eighties/early nineties, virtually all trading cards came in wax packages, often with a "bonus" stick of terrible, terrible gum that would often shatter in your mouth and cut the inside of your cheek when you tried to chew it. Since I was more of an indoorsy kid growing up, I was always interested in non-sports trading cards (Garbage Pail Kids, Dinosaurs Attack!, Wacky Packages, etc.) and my recent purchases definitely reflected that (no need to get into details, but let's just say I'm now the proud owner of a pack of Alf cards). While I have no interest in collecting full sets of classic cards, there's just something nice about holding a vintage wax pack in your hands. I told a friend recently about buying the wax packs and he asked, "What did you do with them?" I said, "Well, I took them out of the envelope, looked them over, and then put them away." He laughed, but I hardly regret the purchase.

Rating: 80s%

(Image from timemachinetoys.com)

Ryan's All-Time Top Ten Video Games: #10 Kingdom Hearts

10. Kingdom Hearts (PS2)
Gorgeous graphics, smooth controls, pick your own Disney character posse. Might seem like it’s just for the kiddos, but who was alive when Aladdin and Lion King came out? Embarrassed how giddy I was to play the Little Mermaid level. An enthralling adventure from start to finish.
Rating: 90%

Johnny Suede

At times, triptastic, other times deeply funny, all the while saturated with cool. Catherine Keener does her usual routine and Brad Pitt gives one of his most underrated performances. Cameos by Samuel L. Jackson and Nick Cave are the icing. The scene where Brad Pitt and his roomie go over the pros and cons of moving in with a girlfriend is in itself worth the price of admission.

Rating: 93%

NYC Ghosts & Flowers by Sonic Youth

Well, this album sucks, but the question is does it suck as much as Pitchfork famously claimed? I guess it'd be hard to, but I doubt even Pitchfork really believed the album was a 0.0. It's got some good moments musically speaking, but those are frequently ruined by bad impersonations of high school students imitating Jim Morrison imitating the beat poets. Well, there was nowhere to go but up after this I guess, but it's easily the worst thing Sonic Youth has ever been associated with.

RATING: 19%

The NFL Draft as a viewing experience

Even the diehardest of diehard football fan doesn’t know a bunch of the guys getting drafted, so you have no idea whether to be happy or pissed when your team picks the cornerback out of Murray State. In spite of this and all the waiting time between picks and the sheer nerdiness of watching a sporting event with no actual sports, I find myself drawn to it every year, partly to watch the Jets fans boo everybody and partly because of the intoxicating hope that the Texans will pick the next great player.



Rating: 36%

The Replacement Killers

I could tell I was going to like The Replacement Killers as I read the names in the opening credits: Chow Yun-fat, Michael Rooker, Til Schweiger, Danny Trejo, etc. After watching the movie, I was actually a little mad at myself for not having seen it years earlier, since Hong Kong style shootouts and character actors are like manna from heaven to me. I guess my initial reluctance to watch The Replacement Killers stems from my overall disappointment with most North American-made action movies featuring actors or directors who first gained prominence overseas. I mean, as good as Chow Yun-fat's films are (especially the ones he made with John Woo), no one in their right mind could possibly think Bulletproof Monk is better than The Killer. No one.

Rating: 82%

(Image from moviepostershop.com)

Men in ponytails

Women like their men to remind them of horses. And they enjoy sharing their scrunchies. Win, win.


Rating: 0.351%

Volcano Chocolate Filled Mints

As a Canadian, I could travel to Cuba if I wanted to. I don't want to, but I could if I did. And if I were to go, I could bring back some Volcano brand chocolate filled mints, like a relative of mine did after their recent trip to Cuba. The mints themselves aren't really anything special and they're not really any different than the chocolate filled mints you can get just about anywhere else (if you still have living grandparents, ask them where they buy their crappy candy). But I still had to laugh after looking at the package, because it turns out that they're made in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. That's right, these mints were made by commies, for commies. They're commumints.

Rating: Socialists with fresh breath%

(Image from tootoo.com)

Silver Session for Jason Knuth by Sonic Youth

The story with this album is that while Sonic Youth were recording A Thousand Leaves there was a metal band recording upstairs, and as a result SY couldn't get their songs right. So they turned up every amp and laid every guitar against them for revenge. The result, recorded here, is exactly as you'd expect, but it's actually pretty soothing, and I think you could relax to it if you get my drift.

RATING: 45%

Cottrell Brewing Old Yankee Ale

A Beer For Every State #11 - Connecticut

I don't want to say that Yankees don't know how to make delicious microbrews, but I don't know if this really goes a long way to dispel that nasty rumor. It's a forgettable ale, and also it was warm, which I blame on the brewers and their families. (Caveat: I drank it eight months ago, so maybe the particulars aren't too fresh in my mind)

RATING: 55%

Wayne Robson

It's a sad day for fans of Canadian character actors, Wayne Robson has passed away. Robson got his start with a couple of small roles in some Robert Altman films and would eventually go on to be a part of countless films and television shows made in and around Canada. Mr. Robson was also a veteran of the stage and a voice-over artist, having provided the voice of Professor Calculus in the English language version of The Adventures of Tintin cartoon series from the early nineties. He may remembered most fondly, by Canadians at least, for having portrayed the character of ex-con Mike Hamar for several seasons on The Red Green Show. He will be missed.

Rating: Keep your stick on the ice%

(Image from watt-up.blogspot.com)

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

An atypical robbery story with a Hitchcockian vibe. If you don’t mind loathing every character in a movie, your enjoyment of this tense, sharp film will not be impeded. Meaty performances by all involved. Seeing Marisa Tomei without clothes is not exactly a drawback.


Rating: 88%

The Problem With Reviewing Hobo With A Shotgun

Hobo with a Shotgun is an unapologetically violent exploitation movie that was filmed in Nova Scotia, not all that far from where I live. I wanted, more than anything, for it to be kick-asstastic. However, after seeing the movie this past weekend, I have to say I was disappointed. I thought the movie had some pacing issues and a lot of seriously bad dialogue. It wasn't a total shit fest though. The action scenes all looked good, they used lots of practical effects and fake blood, there were some cool cameos, some excellent music choices, some great camera work, and a number of lighting choices that paid homage to the films of Dario Argento. I hate to give Hobo with a Shotgun a bad review, because it definitely deserves to be seen and I know there's an audience out there for it, but I simply can't ignore the film's weaker points.

Rating: Quammy's Quandary%

(Image from onlinemovieshut.com)

Batman: City Of Crime

Well, what would a David Lapham book be without the constant threat of pedophilia? It's ok, but if you were a parent buying your kid Detective Comics and you happened to read the issue where a 14 year old tries to seduce Bruce Wayne and then ends up half naked and dead of a drug overdose in a hotel room, you might rethink the whole reading comics is better than television thing. Obviously, though, kids probably only make up about 5% of American comic books' audience these days anyway.

RATING: 58%

Chocolate Easter Bunnies with Rice Krispies

Easter is coming a little later than usual this year, but Easter candy is already out in full effect. One of my personal favorites are the chocolate Easter bunnies that come with the crispy rice mixed in. They're not made with Rice Krispies officially sanctioned by Kellogg's, but that hardly makes any difference. It's not like, when you see one on a shelf, you say, "Oh, look at that. It's a chocolate Easter bunny made with crispy rice." Chances are you'd say, "Hell yeah, dawg. It's a chocolate bunny with some Rice Krispies all up in it."

Rating: 70%

(Image by way of couponcrazedmamas.com and smallanimalchannel.com)

She-Hulk's Sexual Attractiveness

She sports a superiorly toned body complete with a flawless pair of chichis. Her long hair sweeps around her gorgeous face. Definitely pretty enough to look past green skin.


But really I think what may turn a lot of fellas off is sheer intimidation as she could hurl you through a wall and is so smart and successful and probably not the type of lady to let a little flirting with your co-workers slide.

Rating: 77%

SYR4: Goodbye 20th Century

This album in Sonic Youth's experimental series has the Youth covering the work of avant garde composers. In short - you probably don't want to buy this album. I think it's great, but there's nothing on here you can listen to for "fun" - it's all very serious stuff. I mean, John Cage and Yoko Ono serious. Come visit sometime and I'll play it when I want you to leave.

RATING: 70%

Paul

As cliché as it may sound, Paul is a movie made for geeks, by geeks, about geeks. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost play two British sci-fi enthusiasts traveling across America in an RV who encounter an extra-terrestrial name Paul. The movie's got car chases, explosions, references to classic (and not so classic) sci-fi films, and a subplot that seems to exist only to make jokes at the expense of fundamentalist Christians. While Paul might not be as good as Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz (Pegg and Frost's two prior cinematic pairings), it works along similar lines, mining laughs from pop culture's past and finding a satisfying center in a story based around friendship. And jokes about three-breasted women, can't forget about those.

Rating: 79%

(Image from filmofilia.com)

Katt Williams

Closest successor to Richard Pryor we’ll ever have. Touches on social issues with a deft touch, has uncanny timing and is goofy looking to boot.



Apologies to Patton Oswalt and Chris Rock, but Mr. Williams is the best comic working.
Rating: 98%

Cedar Rapids

Sheltered insurance agent Tim Lippe (Ed Helms) gets sent to the big city (Cedar Rapids, Iowa) to represent his company at the big (regional) insurance convention, heart warming amusement ensues. Cedar Rapids is funny, but in a post-Judd Apatow manchild coming out of his shell kind of way. Ed Helms, in a rare lead role, carries the film, but he's backed by an excellent supporting cast. With stand out performances from John C. Reilly, Alia Shawkat, and Anne Heche (no, really). Considering the improv background of many of the cast, I'm willing to bet that the home video release of Cedar Rapids will either contain an extended cut of the film or a bevy of outtakes and alternate scenes.

Rating: 74%

(Image from filmofilia.com)

Hockey

The Canadian adored sport has the low scoring of futbol, the concussionivity of football and all the white people you could ever want. Hard to keep with the puck sometimes. No dunks.

Rating: 40%

Boom by The Sonics

The Sonics' second album, Boom, might not have quite as many barn burning classics as their debut, but even a "lesser" Sonics record is still an epic document of amped up 60s garage rock. I have no idea how popular The Sonics might have been during their heyday but the influence their music, along with the music of bands like The Velvet Underground and The Stooges, has had over punk and rock bands in the last 40+ years is considerable. Highlights from Boom include "He's Waitin'," a kind of freaky morality tale, and "Hitch Hike," a sort of companion to their more well-known "Have Love, Will Travel." The band even does a take on the immortal "Louie, Louie," though their version sounds more like "Rock You Like a Hurricane" than The Kingsmen.

Rating: 83%

(Image from uulyrics.com)

Waiting for "Superman"

Waiting for "Superman" is an Oscar nominated documentary about public education in America. Though I can't vouch for how accurate it might be, having never gone to school in the US, it is a well-made documentary. The use of twinkly piano music and images of disappointed children will probably make you feel bad, but Waiting for "Superman" doesn't seem to be going for an all-out weep-a-thon. While some might argue that the documentary is biased towards charter schools, it's likely that most will agree that there is room for improvement in public education. Also, children are, like, our future and stuff, or something.

Rating: 73%

(Image from thebabycupcakes.blogspot.com)

John Cena

No one gets a crowd of ten year old boys more amped up, but truth is, he sucks. If you thought Hulk Hogan had a limited set of moves, wait till you see this Marky Markesque beast of a man lumber through a shoulder tackle for the eighteenth time in a match. I guess I can’t take a wrestler “seriously” unless he is wearing nut-hugging spandex. Loved his Gillette commercials though, gotta give him that.


Rating: 36%

Ring by Glasser

One thing I like in songs is when all of a sudden in the middle of a regular old song BAM it's a robot voice. In that regard, this album does not disappoint. Also, in every other regard it does not disappoint either. It's more dance music, but I don't feel too old to listen to it this time because it sounds really dire, or maybe my stereo was turned up really loud. Either way, it definitely works. Also check out their blog - she seems lonely.

RATING: 81%