The Brides of Dracula

Over shots of the Transylvanian countryside, a narrator tells us that "Count Dracula, monarch of all vampires is dead. But his disciples live on..." And so begins The Brides of Dracula. But, you may be asking yourself, why call it The Brides of Dracula if Dracula isn't even in the movie? Is it even, technically, a Dracula movie? Well, if you want to get pedantic about it, there is some validity to that train of thought. However, given that Van Helsing is in the movie, I think we can give them a pass. Especially since they have Peter Cushing once again taking up the mantle of the fearless vampire hunter. The Brides of Dracula is a relatively small movie, there are maybe only two scenes featuring more than five characters on screen at the same time. It's a little slow and fairly chaste compared to some of Hammer's later movies. But The Brides of Dracula has enough going for it to keep it from being a total slog. The opening sequence has similar vibes to the opening of An American Werewolf in London and there's a great scene where the lead vampire sneaks up on a woman while she's looking in a mirror.

Rating: 64%

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Demons

A buncha strangers get free tickets to a sneak preview but it’s put on by demons and instead of free popcorn you get a free murdered. It’s goofy but a lot of fun kills.

RATING: 75%

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A group of high school students are stalked by a mysterious figure in their dreams. The line between the real world and the dream world begins to blur as their nightmares get more intense and they begin to die off in unexplainable ways. Is it a case of mass hysteria or is there something from their past that has come back to haunt them? It's not surprising that they decided to remake A Nightmare on Elm Street, it's just a shame that they did such a poor job of it. All of the remake's nods to the original movie are very surface level and Freddy doesn't seem to have much of a power set. He can transport himself anywhere in the dream world but he never turns into anything or does anything particularly interesting. The movie opens with all of the main characters in a diner but there's no attempt to establish them on an individual basis. Yes, part of the plot is an investigation into their shared history but it's hard to care about characters that aren't properly introduced or fleshed out. Ultimately, the remake's biggest problem has to be its interpretation of Freddy Krueger. The new makeup design smoothes out Freddy's face, making it impossible to show any expression. And it's only made worse by Jackie Earle Haley's montone line delivery. Much like Freddy's new face, the whole movie ends up being flat and boring.

Rating: 58%

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Invaders From Mars

A kid sees a flying saucer crash, and soon evil aliens are taking over every adult in town! It’s pretty decent for a kid friendly sci fi horror flick, even if I hated the ending so, so much (which apparently the 50s version did too).

RATING: 54%

Friday the 13th (2009)

While on the hunt for some weed they hope to steal, Whitney and her obnoxious friends find the dilapidated remains of Camp Crystal Lake. Jason Voorhees promptly murders all of them, or so it would seem. Six weeks later, Whitney's brother Clay searches the area hoping to find his missing sister. Clay ends up crossing paths with Jenna, her preppy prick boyfriend Trent and their obnoxious friends, who are all headed out to a cabin in the woods. What could go wrong? Spoiler alert: it involves more murders.

Rating: 69% (Nice)

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Channel 13

This flick, from 80s and 90s straight to video shot on video gurus the Polonia Brothers, was made in 2015 after the surviving brother found some tapes with lost footage. He shot some wraparounds and edited together as an anthology. The lo fi 80s stuff works, but the new footage is obvious and there’s a buncha TikTok sound effects added in which take you out of the 80s vibe.

RATING: 41%

Halloween: Resurrection

Halloween H20 ended with Laurie Strode decapitating Michael Myers, seemingly putting a nice little button on the series. But, as we learn in the opening prologue of Halloween: Resurrection, Michael managed to pull a switcheroo and it was actually a paramedic under the mask that night. Three years later, we catch up with Laurie in a sanitarium, apparently guilt-ridden to the point of unresponsiveness. It turns out, however, that Laurie was just playing psychological possum because when Michael shows up, she has a trap ready and waiting for him. Unfortunately for her, Michael gets the upper hand and Laurie is killed. No need to feel bad for her though because this branch of the continuity will soon be both gone and forgotten. The rest of the movie follows some college kids who have been recruited to explore the old Myers house on Halloween night for a live streaming show called Dangertainment. Their shot at fame and internet glory takes a turn for the worse when Michael comes home. Halloween: Resurrection probably isn't anyone's favorite Halloween movie. But, given that the Rob Zombie and David Gordon Green films that followed it were also met with mixed to poor reception, Halloween: Resurrection might be due for a reevaluation. I'd hesitate to call it underrated, but it's probably not as bad as you remember.

Rating: 63%

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Cemetery Man

A graveyard caretaker looks after the lawn and flowers and also has to re kill everyone buried there. Easy peasy until a lady he thinks is pretty gets buried! I mean, in my opinion it should still be the same difficulty because she is a corpse and etc. Really fun movie I’ve been trying to watch again for years and finally it’s streaming.

RATING: 83%

Leprechaun in the Hood

aka Leprechaun 5: In the Hood

Mack Daddy and his associate Slug stumble upon the Leprechaun and his gold in a hidden room. 20 years later, with the help of the Leprechaun's magic flute, Mack Daddy has become a powerful and feared rap music mogul. But all hell breaks loose after a trio of aspiring rappers break into Mack Daddy's place and remove a magic amulet from around the Leprechaun's neck. To give credit where credit is due, Leprechaun in the Hood is better than Leprechaun 4: In Space. It was a pretty low bar to clear, but Leprechaun in the Hood managed to pull it off. It's still a bad movie littered with corny rhymes and tasteless jokes, so it hasn't strayed too far from the other entries in the series but, again, at least it's better than Leprechaun 4: In Space.

Rating: 56%

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Contamination

Some space aliens decide to lay eggs on earth and totally rip off Ridley Scott’s Alien for Italian reasons. It’s not good but there’s some fun splatter in it.

RATING: 46%

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins

The town of Rejection, Nevada comes dangerously close to becoming a ghost town after 17 miners mysteriously die in a nearby silver mine. With no one left to work, the mine's owner, Hiram Gummer, comes to Rejection to investigate. What he and the last remaining residents of Rejection soon discover is that strange creatures have infested the area. Tremors 4: The Legend Begins takes the graboid action back to 1889, roughly 100 years before the events of the original Tremors film. Like most of the other sequels in the franchise, Tremors 4 adds a new graboid variation into the mix. In this instance, we see the graboids in an almost larval state. The characters call them Dirt Dragons. This new incarnation eventually evolves into the larger form of graboid we're more familiar with. Also, in case you hadn't already guessed, Michael Gross plays Hiram Gummer, the great grandfather of Burt Gummer, the character he plays in all of the other Tremors films.

Rating: 59%

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Alien: Romulus

A poor miner and her robot brother try to escape their planet with a salvaged ship fulla eggs, and not the kind you can benedict! The first two thirds are kind of bland, but the last bit is great.

RATING: 77%

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead

A prison transfer gone wrong leaves a cop and some convicts stranded deep in the heart of cannibal country. The practical special effects in Wrong Turn 3 are decent but definitely not as good as the ones seen in the franchise's first two installments. Bad CGI is more prevalent in this entry, which is a disappointment. The acting is fine and, thankfully, none of the characters are particularly annoying this time around.

Rating: 60%

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Longlegs

An FBI agent searches for clues in a series of murders that seem totally random. But maybe there’s more to it hm??? People flipped their shit over this but I think if you weren’t raised Capital C Christian it won’t be as scary, though it’s nice to have lots of long unmoving shots every once in a while.

RATING: 76%

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

When we catch up with Brigitte Fitzgerald in Ginger Snaps 2, things are not going well. Having infected herself with her sister's blood, Brigitte is in a race against time to find a cure for her oncoming lycanthropy. Things only get worse for Brigitte after she overdoses on monkshood and finds herself in a remote rehab facility. And, on top of all that, there's another werewolf stalking her from the shadows. Though not as creative as the original film, Ginger Snaps 2 is a pretty enjoyable sequel. Once again, the practical effects and stylish camerawork do a lot of heavy lifting. But, this time around, they're aided by some great locations, some genuinely funny gags, and some distinctly Canadian elements. I don't know that I necessarily loved the ending of the film, but I didn't regret taking the journey.

Rating: 66%

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MaXXXine

Well, the lone survivor from X has made it in Hollywood! As a porn star anyway. But hey why not try and break into the mainstream, that’s what the lady who killed all her friends wanted. It’s flashy and fun but nowhere near as good as Pearl.

RATING: 71%

The Omen

In an effort to keep his wife from finding out that their newborn baby has died, an American diplomat adopts a child and tries to pass it off as his own. He might have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the fact that the adopted child is the motherfuckin' Antichrist. Since it's from the 70s, The Omen can be a bit of a slow burn at times but it's a surprisingly well made movie. The cinematography is incredible, with stylish uses of slow motion and reflections. The music is really good, alternating between big orchestral pieces, ominous choral arrangements and creepy synths. And they do a great job making you believe that the kid who plays Damien is hella evil.

Rating: 76%

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Fun Fact: Father Brennan is played by Patrick Troughton, Doctor Who's Second Doctor.