Supergirl

Kara Zor-El, Superman's cousin, lives in peaceful tranquility in Argo City. But after the city's power source, the omegahedron, is lost, Kara leaves Argo City for Earth. There, she runs afoul of some witches and Matt Frewer. Not Matt Frewer in a literal sense. He's an actor. And, in this case, he's playing a trucker wearing an A&W shirt who tries to assault Supergirl. It's pretty weird. But definitely not out of place in a weird movie like Supergirl. The beginning of the movie sets up a ticking clock, Kara only has so much time to retrieve the omegahedron before bad things happen back at Argo City. But, once she gets to Earth, that ticking clock is totally ignored so Supergirl can spend a bunch of time enrolling in and hanging out at a boarding school. The special effects in Supergirl are all over the place. There are some really good effects, like in the sequence where an invisible monster attacks Kara at the school. And then there's some really cheap looking green screen flying sequences that look like total crap. Supergirl is a bit of a mess. It's probably not as bad as you may have been lead to believe, but it's also hard to recommend.

Rating: 58%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Hart Bochner, who played the lovestruck groundskeeper Ethan, played Ellis in Die Hard.

The Ribos Operation

The Doctor and his new K9 unit are all set to go on holiday when they are interrupted by the White Guardian. The Doctor reluctantly agrees to take on the task of recovering the six segments of the Key to Time. With each segment having been scattered throughout the universe and disguised to hide its true form. To aid in his quest, the Doctor is paired up with the young Time Lord (Time Lady? Lady Time Lord?) Romana. Their search for the first segment takes them to the planet Ribos. There they encounter con artists, war criminals, psychics, heretics and blood-thirsty monsters. The Ribos Operation feels a lot like one of the Third Doctor's adventures on Peladon, combining courtly intrigue with crumbling caverns in the best possible ways. The sets, the costumes, the characters and the script are all top notch. The Ribos Operation is a real breath of fresh air after some of the stale stories from the previous season.

Rating: It's either Romana or Fred%

Under Siege

Before he became Russia's favorite son, Steven Seagal used to do all of his fightin' and killin' for America. And never more patriotically than in Under Siege. In the film, Seagal plays Chief Petty Officer Casey Ryback, a super secret badass hiding out in plain sight as a cook on the USS Missouri. After mercenaries take over the Missouri, Ryback springs into action and almost single handedly brings down the bad guys before they can offload the ship's nuclear arsenal. The action in Under Siege is top notch, with countless gun fights, fist fights, knife fights and at least one throat rip. The cast is rounded out with plenty of familiar faces like Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Erika Eleniak, Colm Meaney, Raymond Cruz and President George H. W. Bush. Under Siege is, in all likelihood, the best movie Steven Seagal ever made or ever will make.

Rating: 72%

(Image from Wikipedia)

WarGames

David Lightman's quest to get a sneak peek at some upcoming computer games puts him on the FBI's most wanted list after he accidentally engages with a military supercomputer. With a ticking clock counting down to armageddon, David must find the system's creator in order to prevent global thermonuclear war. WarGames is a Cold War-era action adventure sci-fi romp that gets more and more out of date with each passing year. What keeps WarGames watchable all these years later is its cast, with Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy oozing charm while being backed up by a bevy of recognizable character actors. Come for the five inch floppy disks, stay for the endless rows of blinking lights.

Rating: 75%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Matthew Broderick's hacker buddies were played by Maury Chaykin and Eddie Deezen. Eddie Deezen was also in Critters 2: The Main Course.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

Much like Spider-Man 3, the movie that killed Sam Raimi's Spider-Man series, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is overstuffed with characters and storylines. And even though there are three villains in the movie, none of them get a whole lot of screen time. The Rhino bookends the film, Electro gets sidelined for a good chunk of the movie and Harry Osborn doesn't even become the Green Goblin until the last forty minutes of the movie. Just like the first Amazing Spider-Man film, the sequel invests more time into the backstory of Peter's parents. Which, ultimately, has very little impact on the plot. There are some well acted dramatic scenes in the movie, which is to be expected given the high caliber of the cast. The movie's biggest flaw might be that there's just not enough action and excitement. The ratio of tears shed to punches thrown might be 1:1 and that's just not a good formula for a Spider-Man movie.

Rating: 61%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The Invasion of Time

The Doctor returns to Gallifrey, under mysterious circumstances, to claim the Presidency of the Council of Time Lords. Right away, Leela senses that something is wrong. The Doctor is acting strange. Stranger than usual, at least. After his induction, the Doctor appears to betray the Time Lords by helping the Vardans invade Gallifrey. While everyone else believes the Doctor to be a traitor, Leela remains convinced that the Doctor's actions are only part of a bigger plan. After the Vardans are defeated, it's revealed that they were merely pawns working under the direction of the Sontarans and the invasion of Gallifrey has only just begun. The Invasion of Time is a fairly middle of the road serial hampered by some poor lighting and production design. There are several scenes in the TARDIS control room that are lit in a weird magic hour style that makes no sense given the location. Most of the scenes on Gallifrey are very dark, possibly to cover for the lackluster sets. The serial ends with Leela and K9 staying behind on Gallifrey, ending their travels with the Doctor. Though, in a weird moment that breaks the fourth wall, the Doctor reveals a large cardboard box in the TARDIS containing another K9 unit.

Rating: Never heard of it%

Sidekicks

A shy kid moves to a new state. At first, he has trouble fitting in. He gets bullied at school and he can't get that one special girl to notice him. But all of that changes once he starts to learn martial arts. If you think I'm describing the plot of The Karate Kid, you'd be right but you might be interested to know that I'm also describing the plot of Sidekicks. In Sidekicks, that shy kid, played by Jonathan Brandis, is constantly getting lost in elaborate daydreams where he and Chuck Norris fight bloodless battles against hordes of nondescript bad guys. These daydreams, which are probably what got the movie made in the first place, tend to bog down the film, as they happen frequently and do nothing to advance the plot. Most of the action sequences in Sidekicks are riffs on earlier Chuck Norris films like Missing in Action and The Hitman. Thankfully, Sidekicks has a decent supporting cast, which includes Beau Bridges, Mako, Danica McKellar, Joe Piscopo, Richard Moll and Gerrit Graham. At the end of the day, Sidekicks is a pretty generic rip-off of The Karate Kid but it's not entirely charmless.

Rating: 59%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Jonathan Brandis played the young Bill Denbrough in IT.

The Last American Virgin

The Last American Virgin is simultaneously a raunchy sex comedy and a tender coming of age story about friendship and unrequited love. The film is also jam packed with new wave hits by Blondie, The Cars, Devo, The Police, Journey, Oingo Boingo, and U2, among others. The soundtrack seems to have been a major marketing tool, as many of the bands featured in the movie were also listed on the poster. The Last American Virgin is a remake of the popular Israeli film Lemon Popsicle. Both films were written and directed by Boaz Davidson and were produced by Yoram Globus and Menahem Golan, the go-go boys behind Cannon Films. What makes The Last American Virgin stand apart from similar films is its ending. I won't spoil it here, but I will tell you that it's a surprisingly poignant gut punch of an ending. 

Rating: 63%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Lawrence Monoson played Ted, the vintage porn enthusiast, in Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and Diane Franklin played Monique, the French foreign exchange student, in Better Off Dead.

The Amazing Spider-Man

The least interesting part of any super hero film is the origin story. It's even less interesting in a reboot. The Amazing Spider-Man spends almost an hour, nearly half of the film, on Spider-Man's origin story. The movie also spends a lot of time on plot threads that don't really go anywhere, like the mysterious death of Peter's parents or the search for the man who shot Uncle Ben. It's hard to tell if the movie is setting things up for the sequel or if it's just working from a bad script. Also, the casting in The Amazing Spider-Man doesn't really work for me. No one delivers a bad performance but none of the actors feel particularly suited for their roles. Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker feels a little too cocky for my taste. That said, I think Garfield's performance in Spider-Man: No Way Home did a lot to redeem his version of the character. At the end of the day, The Amazing Spider-Man isn't a bad film, it's just underwhelming and forgettable. Not exactly a great launching pad for the reboot of a high profile character.

Rating: 62%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Underworld

In the seventies, Doctor Who started using a special effects process called colour-separation overlay (CSO), an early form of green screen technology. The results weren't always convincing, but it allowed the budget-conscious show to put actors into any number of exotic locales. When done well, CSO was hardly noticeable. When done poorly, CSO could be very distracting. The Underworld serial is a prime example of bad CSO. A lot of Underworld, fittingly, takes place underground in caves. But instead of filming in actual caves, which had been done well in earlier stories like The Mutants and Revenge of the Cybermen, CSO was used extensively to insert the actors into cave backdrops. The end results were far from seamless. Logistically, I can understand why they did it. Trying to have K9 move around inside an actual cave would have been impossible. But, unfortunately, the CSO winds up tarnishing an already mediocre story. As far as the plot goes, Underworld is very similar to the First Doctor story The Ark. So much so that I can't really be bothered to recap it here. Ultimately, Underworld isn't a terrible serial. At the very least, it's better than The Invisible Enemy, which isn't saying much.

Rating: No hard feelings%

The Octagon

Scott James, played by Chuck Norris, is a retired karate champion and a bit of a dick. Scott's estranged brother, Seikura, is running a ninja training academy for terrorists somewhere in South America. Everyone in Scott's life is either trying to convince him to put a stop to Seikura and his men or they are actively getting killed by Seikura and his men, sometimes both. If Scott decides to take action (would it be much of a movie if he didn't?) he'll need to get past all of the terrorists and all of the ninjas in order to face his brother, one on one, in the Octagon. ("The Octagon" is a reference to the terrorist training camp, because it's kinda shaped like an octagon. We get to see plenty of the camp throughout the film, but the octagon-ness of it all isn't really something that gets shown or remarked upon until the last twenty minutes of the movie. You would think that, since they decided to call the movie The Octagon, it might be more prominent in the film, but not so much.) Much like JCVD, Chuck Norris is a kicker and he kicks the shit out of a whole bunch of terrorists and ninjas in this movie. The Octagon also features Spaghetti Western legend Lee Van Cleef and Art Hindle from The Brood and the original Black Christmas. I could talk about The Octagon all day long. It feels like a movie that was tailor made for me. I urge everyone to check out The Octagon if, for no other reason, just to hear Chuck Norris's super echoey overdubbed monologue. It's all stilted and whispery. It's great.

Rating: 59%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Ernie Hudson, of Ghostbusters fame, is in The Octagon, briefly.

Masters of the Universe

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was a gold mine for Mattel in the early 80s. It made sense that they would try to translate that success into a feature film. Why they chose Cannon Films to make that happen remains a mystery. What we do know is that the movie bombed and was a key factor in Cannon's eventual bankruptcy. Watching the movie now, it's clear that Cannon invested some serious cash (by their standards) into the production. It's a very expensive looking low budget film filled with costumed extras and decent special effects. It's also clear that Cannon and Mattel pulled the plug early and He-Man and Skeletor's climactic battle had to be cobbled together on the fly with no money. It's not surprising that the movie disappointed audiences when it was first released. Nobody went into a He-Man movie expecting to watch the girl from that Springsteen video mourning her dead parents. Despite the film's flaws, I can appreciate it for what it is. I mean, how can you hate on a movie where Billy Barty tries to talk to a cow?

Rating: 62%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Batman & Robin

When Batman Forever came out in 1995, I was all in. I saw it in the theatre twice, I had the poster on my wall, I had the soundtrack, I wore Batman Forever branded gear from head to toe, and I even had one of those promotional mugs from McDonalds. And yet, by the time Batman & Robin came out in 1997, I couldn't have cared less. I didn't see it in the theatre, I didn't get the soundtrack, I couldn't give a shit about the movie. I cared so little about Batman & Robin that I realized, while I was watching it earlier this week, that I had never actually watched the movie from beginning to end before. I wish I could tell you that it's not as bad as people would have you believe, but they've pretty well got it right. Much like how Batman Returns really amped up the Tim Burton-ness of it all, Batman & Robin is swimming in Schumacher. There's more neon, more cartoony sound effects and more allusions to the 1966 TV series. Not even well thought out allusions either, they have Commissioner Gordon dressed up like he's Chief O'Hara for some reason. So, long story short, if you've never seen Batman & Robin before, don't. Or, if you have seen it and you're considering revisiting it, don't.

Rating: 50%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: When we first see Mr. Freeze in his lair, he's forcing his henchmen to watch the Rankin/Bass classic The Year Without a Santa Claus.

The Sun Makers

The TARDIS touches down on Pluto. Expecting only a barren planet, the Doctor is surprised to find that Pluto has been thoroughly terraformed and industrialized. The Doctor and his friends soon discover that most of the people on Pluto are living under the oppressive thumb of "the company." With only a small group of rebels living in the tunnels under the cities. Our heroes join up with the underground and launch a rebellion against "the company," so that everyone might have the chance to breathe freely under Pluto's six artificial suns. The Sun Makers is a good serial marred by low production value. Some of the sets look very unique and elaborate while others look incredibly bland and unfinished. And they're all poorly lit. I liked the script and the characters and some of the production design but this has to be one of the cheapest looking Doctor Who serials I've ever seen.

Rating: I always whisper when I'm opening safes%

Bloodsport

US Army Captain Frank Dux is traveling to Hong Kong to compete in an underground fighting tournament known as the Kumite. When he gets back to the States, he'll either be in handcuffs or a coffin. Bloodsport starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Coming soon to a TV near you.

Bloodsport, JCVD's first starring role, is a lot of fun. If you can get past some of the weaker acting and the formulaic plot, there's lots to enjoy. The supporting cast includes Donald Gibb (aka Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds), Bolo Yeung and Forest Whitaker. That's right, Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker is in this movie. The fighting is well done across the board, but my favorite part of the movie might be the montages. There are so many montages. There's a montage at the beginning of the movie, introducing the audience to some of the various fighters we'll see later competing at the tournament. There's an extended flashback/origin story montage for Frank Dux, showing us how he came to learn martial arts and his reasons for entering the Kumite. There are also competition montages, chase montages and there's even a sad bus ride montage. And, in case you were wondering, JCVD does the splits in this movie not once, not twice, not thrice, but seven freakin' times.

Rating: 75%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Better Off Dead

Lane Myer, played by John Cusack, gets dumped by his girlfriend, sending him into a suicidal depression. And the laughs just keep coming. No, seriously. Better Off Dead is Savage Steve Holland's debut feature film. A sort of surreal "Mad Magazine Guide to Teenage Depression." Much like his second film, One Crazy Summer, Better Off Dead is filled with cartoony visual gags and wacky character actors. It's a bit of a shaggy dog story, with several vignettes that don't really advance the plot. But that's part of the movie's charm. If nothing else, you need to know that this movie features a sequence where a stop motion animated hamburger rocks out to a Van Halen track. Because if that doesn't pique your interest, nothing will.

Rating: 77%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Amanda Wyss, who played Lane's ex-girlfriend Beth, also played Tina in the original A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Batman Forever

Tim Burton's Batman films were meant, in part, to steer the conversation around Batman away from the campy 1960s TV series. Joel Schumacher's Batman Forever is clearly building off of the Tim Burton template, while also steering the conversation back towards the TV series by making everything quippier and slightly less violent. Unlike in the previous films, Val Kilmer's Batman doesn't directly kill anyone. He's not out there blowing up factories or strapping bombs to clowns, but he definitely causes some explosive car crashes and tricks Two Face into falling to his death. Chris O'Donnell's Robin wants to kill Two Face to get revenge for the death of his family, but he also manages to drop the groaner of a line, "Holy rusted metal Batman." Tommy Lee Jones's Two Face is a bit too Joker-y for me, equal parts Jack Nicholson and Cesar Romero. Jim Carrey's Riddler is peak unhinged 90s Jim Carrey. Though I did appreciate that he's essentially a prototypical tech bro. Nicole Kidman doesn't get much to do in the film, alternating between throwing herself at Batman and playing hard to get with Bruce Wayne. Joel Schumacher's sensibilities really shine through in the color palette, whenever possible the shadows are broken up with garish neon. There's a little bit of CGI in the film, which has aged poorly. And the less said about nipples on the bat suit, the better.

Rating: 60%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Image of the Fendahl

A group of scientists, working in secret, think they may have made a discovery that will forever rewrite man's understanding of evolution. Instead, they have uncovered something that will threaten all life on Earth. Image of the Fendahl isn't the most original story. It feels like it's borrowing from serials like The Dæmons, The Seeds of Doom and The Masque of Mandragora, among others. And yet, it's a really fun story. My favorite of this season, so far. The tone, the setting and the characters are all on point. The plot is a little scattershot, but it doesn't really matter. The monsters are a little dodgy looking too, imagine a snake with dreadlocks, but they're still leaps and bounds better looking than the monster from The Invisible Enemy.

Rating: Good morning, ladies%

Hard Target

Chance Boudreaux, a down on his luck merchant seaman, is hired by Natasha Binder to find her missing father. Together, they uncover a ruthless organization that's been hunting homeless veterans on the streets of New Orleans. Hard Target is John Woo's first (and possibly best) American film. And you'll know it's a John Woo film because of the doves and the fact that the entire third act of the movie is one big chase/shootout. Jean-Claude Van Damme is in peak physical form in the film, delivering countless kicks. His acting is a little stilted, but thankfully Lance Henriksen and Wilford Brimley are there giving deliciously over the top performances. Also, if you've ever wanted to see JCVD bite the rattle off a snake, this is the movie for you.

Rating: 73%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Ski Patrol

A greedy real estate developer hatches a scheme to steal a profitable ski lodge away from Pops and his beloved, but wacky, Ski Patrol. Ski Patrol and its much hornier counterpart Ski School come from the mysterious era at the beginning of the 1990s, when the 1980s hadn't quite died yet. It's neon and big hair as far as the eye can see. What sets Ski Patrol apart from similar films is the cast. The movie features performances from Martin Mull, Ray Walston, Paul Feig, T.K. Carter, and George Lopez, among others. Made by some of the folks behind the Police Academy series, Ski Patrol is packed with gags and hijinks. The sitcom-y score is aggressive at times, desperately underlining some of the jokes with bass riffs and saxophone squeals. And like so many films from its time, the "ethnic" humor now sticks out like a sore thumb.

Rating: 68%

(Image from IMDB)

Fun Fact: Ski Patrol features not one, but two Friday the 13th alumni. Roger Rose was in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives and Leslie Jordan was in Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday.

Black Christmas (2006)

2006's Black Christmas takes the premise of the original 1974 film, amps up the violence, expands the backstory and fails to create much in the way of suspense. It ends up being a fairly standard post-Scream slasher from the early 2000s. It's clear that the filmmakers had a lot of affection for the original film but, for whatever reason, the end result is somewhat unnecessary. The killer's backstory is gratuitous in a number of ways and might be the worst part of the movie. But, it's not all bad. The performances are all well done, some of the twists work, some of the kills are cool, and it was nice to see Andrea Martin in the film.

Rating: 61%

(Image from Wikipedia)

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Oftentimes in Rankin/Bass specials, Santa Claus is depicted as being somewhat temperamental. In 1974's 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, a skeptical letter to the editor pisses Santa off to the point where he turns his back on the entire town of Junctionville. All of the town's letters to Santa get returned unopened and the townsfolk start freaking out. To get back into Santa's good graces, local clock maker Joshua Trundle convinces the town to build a giant singing clock that will play a special song for Santa at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve. By Rankin/Bass standards, that's a fairly straightforward narrative. Did I mention that the clock maker has a mouse apprentice? And it was the mouse's son who wrote the letter that pissed Santa off?

Rating: A Clock%

(Image from IMDB)

Home Alone

A few years ago, my sister decided to show Home Alone to her kids. They loved it, which is hardly surprising. Home Alone is a rollicking power fantasy for children. She did, however, have to explain to them what a VHS tape was. Ah, the passage of time. Watching the movie again, for the first time in many years, I appreciated how well the premise was set up. There’s a lot going on in that first act, but it’s very well executed. Kevin comes off a little brattier than I remembered, which makes sense because I was probably around the character’s age when I last watched the movie. I won’t lie, I got a little misty eyed when John Candy showed up. His scenes with Catherine O’Hara were definitely a highlight for me. The movie squeezes in a lesson about the importance of family, but it’s never cloying or maudlin.

Rating: 78%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: John Heard and Daniel Stern were both in C.H.U.D.

John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together

The Muppets did two tv specials with John Denver: 1983's Rocky Mountain Holiday and 1979's John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. A Christmas Together has never been released on home video. It's fallen into that murky grey market of television curiosities from the 1970s. I like to think that dorky Muppet fans (much like myself) are drawn to the special much like Star Wars diehards are drawn to the Star Wars Holiday Special. Having seen both, I feel like I can definitively say that John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together is better than the Star Wars Holiday Special. A Christmas Together isn't anything amazing but it has its moments. My only real complaint is that it's more of a John Denver special than a Muppets special. The Muppets are featured extensively, but it really feels like it's a John Denver special first and foremost.

Rating: Wooden Soldiers%

(Image from Amazon)

A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas

By the time "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas" aired in 2001, Family Guy had already survived one cancellation and was a few months away from being cancelled for a second time. If you weren't a regular viewer back in the day, you might not even be aware of the show's past scheduling woes. Especially since Family Guy is currently in the midst of its 21st season. "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas" finds the Griffins in the midst of the holiday rush. Lois is determined to have a nice family Christmas but Peter's laziness and the machinations of the plot leave the family with no gifts, no turkey and a burnt up Christmas tree. Luckily, some Christmas cheer and a high powered tranquilizer dart set everything straight again. And a Merry Freakin' Christmas was had by all.

Rating: Plutonium%

The Cabbage Patch Kids First Christmas

After learning about Christmas, the Cabbage Patch Kids decide to leave the secret cabbage patch and head into the big city to see the Christmas Spirit for themselves. They're followed by the evil Lavender MacDade and her henchmen, Beau Weasel and Cabbage Jack. At first, Lavender wants to capture the Cabbage Patch Kids and put them to work in her mine. Once she reaches the city, Lavender then decides that the kids could become her own little pickpocket army. While trying to evade Lavender and her goons, the Cabbage Patch Kids meet Jenny, a lonely orphan. The Cabbage Patch Kids then make it their mission to find Jenny a new home. In 1984, when this special first aired, sales of Cabbage Patch Kids dolls and merchandise were over two billion dollars worldwide. The market was clearly white hot for all things Cabbage Patch Kids related. According to Wikipedia, when this special aired, it was the top-rated show in its time slot. Watching it now, nearly forty years later, it seems like the people behind the special knew that they could put anything on the screen and it would have been a success. There were definitely a number of things in the special that didn't make any sense to me. Why wasn't Xavier taking better care of the Cabbage Patch Kids? Why were Lavender and her thugs able to shapeshift? Did Colonel Casey get offended when the Kids cooked a turkey? Why did I watch this?

Rating: A Wallet%

(Image from IMDB)

Jolly Old St. Dick

I definitely watched 3rd Rock from the Sun for a chunk of its six season run back in the day, but very little of it has stayed with me in the years since. I've actually tried to revisit the series after seeing it pop up on various streaming services, but I found the show's aggressive laugh track to be distracting. However, while watching "Jolly Old St. Dick," I couldn't help but appreciate the show's pacing and jokes per minute ratio. With the four main characters each getting a plot thread, plus appearances from half a dozen supporting characters, it's a wonder that the show wasn't a jumbled mess. As a youngster, I was in a school play about aliens coming to Earth and learning the true meaning of Christmas, so it was especially nostalgic for me to watch this episode where the alien leads get to be confused, excited, frustrated and ultimately delighted by the whole Christmas experience.

Rating: Travel Mug%

It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown

You might be surprised to learn that there have been at least four Peanuts Christmas specials. I know I was. But after watching It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown, I can understand why this fact isn't more well known. That's not to say that It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown is bad, it's just nowhere near as good as the perennial A Charlie Brown Christmas. It's Christmastime Again doesn't have much of a story. It feels like a lot of disjointed vignettes that have been haphazardly collected. It's also lacking in memorable songs and iconography. There's nothing in this special that really stands out. Nothing that makes it especially special.

Rating: Gloves%

Christmas is Where the Heart Is

Carl and Steve head out to do some last minute shopping on a stormy Christmas Eve after Carl accidentally destroys the crystal music box he bought for Harriette. On their way home from the mall, Carl and Steve get stuck on the subway after the power goes out. Steve's efforts to improve everyone's mood with singing and Christmas cheer are initially met with condemnation and (sitcom appropriate) threats of violence. "Christmas is Where the Heart Is" is mainly focused on Carl, Steve and the other stranded passengers. The rest of the Winslow family, at least those still on the show, are featured but have little involvement in the story. And, sadly, Waldo Geraldo Faldo is once again absent.

Rating: 20 Pound Dumbbell%

Batman Returns

I don't know if Batman Returns is necessarily the best super hero movie set at Christmas but it's easily the horniest one. It's also Burton AF. If 1989's Batman was a super hero movie with some Tim Burton flair, Batman Returns was a Tim Burton movie with some super hero elements tossed into the mix. Apparently, after the success of 1989's Batman, Burton only agreed to make the sequel if he was given a lot more creative control over the production. And, after rewatching the movie, I'd say he got it. At one point, there's a shot where the camera glides over the Penguin's abandoned amusement park lair and you can't help but think that was Tim Burton's whole reason for making the movie. The acting is good all around, with Michelle Pfeiffer delivering a particularly impressive multi-layered performance. Overall, Batman Returns feels like a more fully realized Batman movie than its predecessor.

Rating: 72%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The Legend of Frosty the Snowman

Everything is exactly as it should be in the town of Evergreen. Then, one day, an old silk hat blows into town. Suddenly, children are breaking curfew and horsing around. Rumors of a magical snowman begin to circulate. Civil unrest starts to foment. It's up to little Tommy Tinkerton to discover the truth behind the legend of Frosty the Snowman. Of all the Frosty specials I've seen so far, I probably hated this one the least. At just over an hour, it's too long. Thankfully, the animation looks good, the voice acting is on point and there aren't a ton of annoying songs. To date, The Legend of Frosty the Snowman is the last sequel to the original Rankin/Bass Frosty the Snowman special. So, Happy Birthday to me, I guess.

Rating: Corn%

(Image from Wikipedia)