Star Trek - "Mudd's Women"

Intergalactic swindler Harry Mudd comes on board with some women he's got addicted to drugs in order to sell them to some super misogynist miners. Yipes, it's a pretty dated episode!

RATING: 66%

Star Trek - "Where No Man Has Gone Before"

Kirk's best friend Gary Mitchell accidentally gets god powers including godlike dickishness. Kirk's got some tough choices to make including but not limited to whether or not he should kill his pal!

RATING 87%

Star Trek - "The Cage"

Captain Pike gets captured by some testicle headed psychic aliens who want him to make them some slave babies. It's wildly sexist, but then sometimes seems almost progressive because of how badass Number One is.

RATING: 68%

Enterprise S4E22 - "These Are The Voyages..."

Ok I can see why this episode is so reviled as a conclusion.

RATING: 26%

Enterprise S4E21 - "Terra Prime"

Archer and friends have to go to Mars to stop the space racists from using their Marvin the Martian style raygun from blowing up San Francisco. Hoshi also gets the bridge, which is p rad!

RATING: 84%

Enterprise S4E20 - "Demons"

Travis finally finds romance but something tells me he's gonna Harry Kim the whole deal. Also the crew must stop some xenophobic crazies led by Robocop playing his default villain mode (see Into Darkness).

RATING: 80%

Enterprise S4E18/19 - "In A Mirror, Darkly"

In the evil goatee and scar-filled universe, Archer finds the Defiant the Tholians stole from the good (well, less evil) universe we all know and love (well, tolerate). It's silly but all the classic TOS sounds and design more than make it worthwhile.

RATING: 73%

Enterprise S4E17 - "Bound"

Some Orion ladies use their magic pheromones to seduce the crew but Trip and T'Pol are immune cuz they're in looooove!

RATING: 85%

Enterprise S4E16 - "Divergence"

Phlox is still helping the evil Klingons and Trip rappels between two ships at warp.

RATING: 66%

Enterprise S4E15 - "Affliction"

We finally figure out why the 60s Trek Klingons looked different (no it's not just budgetary, why would you ever think that?).

RATING: 62%

Enterprise S4E14 - "The Aenar"

To find the Romulan holodrone pilot Archer and his bff Commander Shran find some telepathic ice people.

RATING: 76%

Enterprise S4E13 - "United"

While Malcolm and Trip are trapped on the Romulan holoship Archer ends up fighting one of those duels to the death that seems to be so common in the future.

RATING: 75%

Enterprise S4E12 - "Babel One"

Enterprise helps ferry a Tellerite ambassador to a peace conference and meanwhile a mystery ship is attacking everyone.

RATING: 62%

Enterprise S4E11 - "Observer Effect"

Some non-corporeal aliens inhabit the crew (hmmm) to see how they deal with a deadly virus. Extra points for Hoshi and Travis getting a buncha lines!

RATING: 74%

Enterprise S4E10 - "Daedalus"

The inventor of the transporter comes on Board but, hey, the episode is called "Daedalus" and iirc the myth of Daedalus didn't really work out well for anybody.

RATING: 64%

Enterprise S4E9 - "Kir'Shara"

Archer and T'Pol are helping out some  religious types on Vulcan to stop a war with Andoria. Lotsa shooting, true, but seems like it's for the right reasons this time around.

RATING: 70%

Enterprise S4E8 - "Awakening"

Archer and T'Pol have gone undercover in a desert and Trip and the rest discover that Vulcan is secretly run by warmongers. The politics of this arc seem to be backtracking from the awful Bush endorsement of last season, thankfully.

RATING: 61%

Enterprise S4E7 - "The Forge"

The Earth embassy gets attacked so they call Archer to investigate because nobody else works for planet Earth I guess.

RATING: 80%

Enterprise S4E6 - "The Augments"

The Enterprise keeps on chasing the bad Khan ripoffs in an episode that also desperately wants to ripoff TWOK.

RATING: 42%

Enterprise S4E5 - "Cold Station 12"

Data's grampa and his evil super children continue to evade Enterprise. I feel like they are increasingly trying to replicate the color palate and set design of TOS but, as we all know, it was too little, too late to save the show.

RATING: 67%

Enterprise S4E4 - "Borderland"

Data's great-great-great grandfather, a mad scientist, has to help Enterprise track down some genetically modified superpeople who stole a Klingon ship. Side note (because there are Orion slavers in this episode), I never understood why the Federation hadn't managed to stop the Orion slave trade by the time of The Original Series - seems like that ought to be a priority!

RATING: 58%

Enterprise S4E3 - "Home"

Archer has PTSD from torturing, murdering, etc. Imagine how your victims feel, buddy!

RATING: 49%

Enterprise S4E1/2 - "Storm Front"

The Enterprise winds up fighting Nazis in Brooklyn during an alternate WW2 in a two part episode that is just so silly and fun like the best of TOS.

RATING: 81%

Enterprise S3E24 - "Zero Hour"

Pew pew pew time for a big fight against lizards and dimension ghosts! I wonder if they'll stop Earth from being destroyed?

RATING: 8%

Enterprise S3E23 - "Countdown"

Archer manages to convince most of the Xindi not to commit genocide but the space bugs and space lizards decide to go through with it anyway.

RATING: 20%

Enterprise S3E22 - "The Council"

Archer finally gets his audience with the Xindi council which includes representatives from primates, fuzzy sloth people, dolphins, insects and reptilians. You don't have to think too hard to figure out which two of those groups are gonna be evil.

RATING: 16%

Enterprise S3E21 - "E²"

A future, more grizzled version of the Enterprise comes to convince Archer not to make some choices or cross a line or something.

RATING: 38%

Enterprise S3E20 - "The Forgotten"

Archer forges an alliance with a Xindi whom the show lets you know is a good guy because he looks the most human.

RATING: 21%

Enterprise S3E19 - "Damage"

I feel like bad television writers often believe that making shows "dark" or "morally questionable" is the same as giving them depth, but it's really not. Especially when your characters spell out the fact that they aren't happy with the "line that must be crossed" for 40 minutes of your 44 minute show.

RATING: 10%

Enterprise S3E19 - "Azati Prime"

Archer starts to think maybe an endless war isn't a great idea, but only after he gets captured, tortured, etc.

RATING: 32%

Enterprise S3E17 - "Hatchery"

The show actually starts to show some of the human compassion at the heart of Trek except it's actually a chemical trick that makes Archer care for some alien bug babies.

RATING: 4%