Friday, June 27, 2025

The People Under the Stairs

With a sick mother and a looming eviction, young Fool (real name Poindexter) agrees to go on a B&E job. The target: Fool's wealthy landlords. But, from the very beginning, something just seems off about the landlord's home. Like, why are all the windows locked from the outside? And things only get stranger after he gets inside the house. Soon enough, it's an all-out fight for survival. Will Fool make it out or will he become another one of the people under the stairs? Wes Craven's The People Under the Stairs was a video store staple going back to the early nineties. For casual movie fans, it was probably Craven's most recognizable film outside of the slasher genre. And, while I think it holds up pretty well, I feel like it has some serious structural problems. The movie kind of peaks at the end of the second act. There's also a bit of a reset at the beginning of the third act, which kills a lot of the movie's momentum. That said, it's still an enjoyable film. 

Rating: 68%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Friday, June 20, 2025

Kinda

The Doctor and his companions arrive on the planet Deva Loka, home of the Kinda people. While investigating the area, Tegan falls asleep under some mysterious wind chimes and her mind gets trapped in a shadowy realm where she gets antagonized by the Mara. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Adric get imprisoned by some colonists who have clearly started to go a little nuts. And, if you're wondering what Nyssa go up to, the answer is nothing. After a fainting spell at the beginning of the story, Nyssa is put to bed and is not seen again until everyone is ready to leave at the end of the final episode. Kinda isn't great. It seems like the writers couldn't come up with enough for the main cast to do, hence writing out Nyssa and sidelining Tegan for most of the story. That said, the giant snake puppet (yes, there's a giant snake puppet) is pretty cool, even if it looks a little rough. 

Rating: Intentions unknown. Hypothesis unfriendly, as K-9 would say%

Friday, June 13, 2025

The Rock

General Hummel and a group of rogue Marines steal fifteen rockets filled with deadly nerve gas before taking hostages on Alcatraz Island. With a ticking clock looming over everyone's head, two men are chosen to accompany a Navy SEAL team for the purpose of sneaking into Alcatraz and disarming the rockets: Dr. Stanley Goodspeed, an FBI chemical weapons specialist, and John Mason, a former British operative and the only man ever to successfully escape from Alcatraz. After their SEAL team gets wiped out by Hummel's Marines, it's up to Mason and Goodspeed to take out the rockets before it's too late. Not having seen Bad Boys II, I have to assume that The Rock is the best movie that Michael Bay has ever made or will ever make. And yes, I know he's currently working on a Skibidi Toilet movie. That said, The Rock is fantastic. Great shootouts, explosions galore and a car chase sequence that is constantly one-upping itself. The main cast is fantastic and they're backed up by a murderer's row of character actors like Michael Biehn, William Forsythe, John C. McGinley and the late, great Tony Todd.

Rating: 77%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Friday, June 6, 2025

The Wizard

Corey Woods breaks his little brother Jimmy out of an institution and heads for California. Along the way, he discovers that Jimmy is incredibly talented at video games. With the help of a precocious young girl named Haley, the three runaways head for Los Angeles to enter Jimmy into the Video Armageddon tournament. The Wizard is notorious for essentially being a ninety minute commercial for Nintendo and it's various games and accessories. The movie does have a surprising amount of heart though and is actually a decent adventure/road trip movie. The young leads are all very good and the movie is padded out with a great supporting cast that includes Beau Bridges, Christian Slater and Sam McMurray. It's so bad. 

Rating: 64%

(Image from Wikipedia)