GLP's Westminster

Certain tobaccos impart distinct flavours to their respective blends. Virginia is toasty, grassy or lemony; burley is nutty and often sprayed with fruity essences; "oriental" or "turkish" tobaccos vary considerably, but often taste floral, citrous, or leathery; perique is piquant, and tastes like stewed fruit, salsa and chrome; latakia--the most distinctive "condiment" tobacco of all--smells like road tar, burning camel shit and funeral incense, and tastes like it smells, except saltier.

Westminster is a full-bodied English blend comprised of virginias, orientals and Cyprian latakia. Compared to the rarer Syrian latakia, which has a smoky transparency and a hint of overripe pomegranate, the Cyprian leaf has a darker, almost opaque quality and a slight mustiness. I think I prefer the Cyprian, although the fullness of either can be off-putting. The virginias taste like toast. The orientals taste like a petting zoo full of goats and llamas. It smokes very cool, and the flavour is consistent throughout the bowl, although I usually end up tossing the last 1/4 (bad for the pipe, I know, but it tastes like wet ass). Overall, Westminster has more balls and nicotine than Esoterica Tobacciana's Penzance, another notorious Cyprian heavy hitter. If it's cased (i.e. flavoured) at all, I can't tell.

Some people (English people, I imagine) can smoke an English blend all day long. I like one once in a while, on a cloudy, chilly day when I'm feeling nostalgic and/or a little sad. Don't ever smoke Westminster indoors with other people around unless you like making lifelong enemies. In fact, you probably shouldn't even smoke it while you're on the phone.

RATING: a bittersweet 80%--Don't smoke latakia, kids, unless you really want to smell death.

(Image from smokingpipes.com. Also, that petting zoo is in Houston *cough cough*.)