Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bride Wars

Since we're in the cinematic graveyard portion of the year, I went to see Bride Wars. Surprise: it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be! From what I could tell, Bride Wars is the story of two lifelong friends who go to the same wedding planner. Once the wedding planner realizes that they are actually in love with each other and that their mens are just identical-looking props (my friend called them bad copies of Matt Damon), she books their weddings on the same day. She claims it was all a mix-up, but she's the best wedding planner in the world and she knows how to spot those closeted in-love lezes and gently coax them out of the closet. When both girls are too shy to take the initiative to suggest that, instead of two separate weddings, they just marry each other in one massive ceremony, feelings get hurt and suddenly they're not going for jogs together anymore. Kate Hudson stress-eats and Annie Hathaway reverts to her days as pole-dancing, sexually-confused college girl. Finally, when Anne sees how hot Kate looks in her wedding dress, she can take it no longer: she jumps on Kate and the two lay panting in the church aisle. The only thing missing is a post-coital cigarette. Anne finally dumps her man and then, in a big fuck-you to Proposition 8, these two women miraculously knock each other up. And you thought it was just another chick flick!

RATING: 56%

(Photo courtesy of awesome site I just discovered, dorothysurrenders.blogspot.com)

11 comments:

John said...

Nice hyperlink. You must've had a man install that, eh?

Chris said...

Anne Hathaway got nominated for an Oscar for her role in this flick.

I'm going to go see it. Just a good time with the girls.

LoCo said...

If I had wanted that to be a hyperlink, it would have been a hyperlink, thank-you. Why should a photo credit detract from the awesomeness of my review?

John said...

I suppose. I hadn't thought of it that way, but it makes perfect sense.

And here I thought I was being all handy and paternalistic.

shoppista said...

Best. review. ever.

laurie said...

Definitely best review ever. I saw the preview for this while I was on the elliptical at the gym and was embarrassed that I actually kind of wanted to see it. But now I am totally calling my gay best friend and we are there. Seriously. His name is Elan. He's my Ricky Vasquez.

LoCo said...

My friend opened for Ricky-Vasquez-in-real-life at Pride Fest last year. I had a heart attack when I found out and I still regret missing it. Are you Angela or Rayanne?

It's really not SO horrible. It looks about ten times better than that Shopoholic mess.

LipstickMom123 said...

Wow! What a review! I only read a few sentences of what you wrote loco but Im glad someone decided to write about this. Me and "The Girls" (thats what I call my office pals) were thinking about going to this movie but now I'm glad we saw Marly and Me instead. I really worry about the sanctity of marriage in this country and Im glad I found a review blog that shares my aprehensions about Hollywood!

laurie said...

I guess I'm a little of both, really. I'm slutty and I feel sorry for myself.

LoCo said...

I guess it comes down to how much flannel you're wearing at any given time.

laurie said...

I have been considering bringing flannel back into my wardrobe...