Peanut Butter

Man, fuck all that government FDA bullshit! I don't give a good God damn about some fucking salmonella garbage, so the only way you're prying my peanut butter away from me is from my cold dead hands. The government's always talking shit like "don't eat tomatoes," or "don't eat green onions," or "don't eat puppies," but I say they are forgetting a little old thing called the First Amendment that guaranteed us Freedom of Eats. Everybody always gets scared about sickness, but I myself am scared of a nation in which I can't eat a peanut butter and jam sandwich in peace. So chew on that 44th president, your first task is to stop fucking with deliciousness.

RATING: 89%