Growing up in the old country, I thought cockroaches were a mythical sort of animal Americans liked to complain about in movies. Then I moved to Florida, and GOD DAMN! This is a kind of insect that is huge and disgusting, and also they can fly for some reason, which is totally bogus. If you are scared of them like me even though you weigh ten thousand times as much as one, then when you see one on the wall or ceiling it will sense that fear and try to fly right at your face. Once I walked to the grocery store to buy some cereal and when I looked at my shoulder there was a giant roach sitting there and I died on the spot. Sorry to have to break it to everybody like this years later, but I just didn't have the heart to tell you then. In conclusion I hate roaches more than terrorists, communists, and racists combined.RATING: 0%
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5 comments:
"...there was a giant roach sitting there and I died on the spot."
This guy even looks a little bit like you, in a racist kind of way:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28701
Don't forget to tell everyone about that time in high school when you paid your six year old sister $2 to pick up a dead one and throw it away because you were afraid to touch it.
I too, Glenn, am morbidly afraid of cockroaches. I still think of that last one we saw at the Harp a month ago. I can remember the last one before that one too. And the one in my Uncle's house. I didn't sleep all night because of that asshole. I hate roaches.
Out of curiosity, how do you react during Men in Black when Will Smith starts squishing all the cockroaches at the end? ("Oh I'm sorry. Was that your auntie?")
Do you giggle like a schoolgirl? Do you cringe? Do you offer Will Smith $2 to pick them up off the ground and throw them away, or $5 to kill them like you offered your other sister?
Hey, remember the time we were cleaning out that roach infested shed in Orlando, and you would scream like a little girl and run away whenever one of those fuckers would scurry out of hiding?
Yeah, that was a long and shrill day.
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