Wicked women who pop birth control pills, pierce their nipples and smoke pot use tampons to stem the flow of blood and tissue from their sinfully neglected wombs. If they were married and pregnant as God intended, they'd have no need of such unholy paraphernalia. Yes, the Lord created menstruation, but he hates it.
RATING: A bloody 0%
(Image from www.glee.com)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
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22 comments:
"Jacob lay on the forest floor with something broken inside him. When he tried to sit up, his pelvis shifted and released a moist popping sound, filled with pain, so he kept still, listening to the wind whisper through the trees and scatter the last leaves from their branches."
What are you talking about? This guy's the next James Joyce.
You're a fucking pussy.
Hahahahahaa. I deleted my comment because I felt it was out of place. Please tell me that's taken directly from one of his stories. Please please tell me.
I think the shifting pelvises and moist popping sounds are thematically appropriate for this post. Thank you, Ben Percy.
I sent this to Loco on Facebook a few days ago, but I think it needs re-posting.
Sections of an interview with B.P. :
CD: What have you been reading lately?
BP: This fall I’ll begin teaching in the MFA program at Iowa State. One of my classes is (Re)Writing the West, a reading-as-a-writer class that has a critical and creative component. Should be bad-ass. So anyway, I’m re-reading a lot of books right now, trying to get ready: Annie Proulx’s Close Range, Leslie Silko’s Ceremony, Hampton Sides’ Blood and Thunder, Michael Ondaatje’s Collected Works of Billy the Kid, etc.
CD: Are there any recent trends in contemporary literature that particularly annoy or impress you?
BP: Some people refer to me as a neo-traditionalist. I’m not sure what that means except that I don’t write hipster ironic fiction that winks at its reader and calls attention to its machinations. I imagine those kinds of stories are written by people who wear black-framed glasses and watch French films and order salads as their entrée at restaurants, but I can’t say for certain. I don’t engage with a lot of postmodern fiction because it feels cold. It loses touch with character. I read to feel alive twice—and that feeling isn’t available when I pick up Pynchon or Barth. I can appreciate it intellectually but not emotionally.
But hey, I’m sure my stories annoy plenty of people. I’m not looking to drag anybody’s face through a pile of dog shit. In the end, it’s good that there’s a variety of voices out there. If everyone was writing about barbed wire and whiskey, I’d watch a lot more television.
His class is gonna be baddass. He's a tampon if I've ever stolen-one-from-a-public-bathroom-for-sexual-purposes-seen-one.
Holy crap, did you just watch Towelhead or did I?
Someone watched Towelhead??
Yes, I did. I wanted an accurate portrait of what it is like to live in Houston.
UGH! If you have only two hours left in your life to watch a movie, pick Rocky!
Oh GOD i forgot it took place in Houston! So horrible. I read it because I went to a job talk the author did and really liked her. I thought the book was great, but I gave it away right after I read it. I never wanted to read it again. And I definitely don't want to watch the movie. Did it horrify and disgust you?
It was so depressing. She really got a shitty deal with the adults in her life.
Did the characters in the book have ANY redeeming qualities? If so, the movie neglected to included them, with the exception of Toni Collette, who I really like. But, her talent and role was pretty much lost in the subject matter. At least, it is her responsible, loving, adult character who is procreating. PHEW!
But, which brand has the best absorbency? can you insert them into other wounds?
I'm desperately trying to wrap my head around how you guys made all these comments without once talking about that god hates menstruation link. We really do need more women here. And who the fuck is Ben Percy?
And I am clearly the only person who left their apartment last night.
I put that God hates menstruation link in another post and no one said anything about it then, either. I can't believe it's actually serious. Those people are, like, the total opposite of those cool Christians who fist each other.
Hahahaha..."The Fist of Might." Ouch.
My friend Cleveland after reading this post:
"I'm not sure how to take this one. Not cultured enough, maybe?"
Of course he was talking about himself. Fucking right, too. We're avant garde sophisticates here at R3.
Cleveland is a cool name. I wish I had a friend named Cleveland.
So JOHN posts about tampons and he gets 17 comments? 10 to 1 if Laurie or I posted about the Diva Cup or some shit, you couldn't hear yourself breathe over the mighty chorus of crickets.
It's a little thing called Patriarchy, toots. All the PMS in the world can't stop it.
:O
I'm not actually a pig, I just play one on the Internet.
Maybe 1 out of every 3 posts goes over 10 comments. It's just the law of averages at play.
That picture of a Japanese Anima reminds me of my little nephews! Do you think they would like this ghost girl Anima Jon from Canada?
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