Monday, February 23, 2009

Jacques Lacan Wants to Poop on Your Chest, but He's Dead


According to Lacan (pronounced "LAKE-in"), as well as Freud, all little boys want to fuck their mommies. Fortunately, your dad jams his dick up between you and your ma, poking you out of the "mirror stage" and into the "symbolic order" with his veiny, throbbing paternal prohibition, and it's a good thing too because your mom's cooter is like a giant crocodile and your dad's phallus is a stick wedged between her "jaws," keeping them from clamping down and destroying you like how that crazy governess kills the kid at the end of The Turn of the Screw (SPOILER). And that's also (somehow) why we have letters and words, and the "true" subject is unconscious which means that none of us really "thinks," and the unconscious is structured like a language. Watch out for jouissance, which is a bit like a creepy, intellectualized orgasm, and the Real, which is the traumatic, impossible keystone of the whole anti-structure. Whatever the Christing fuck any of that's supposed to mean. The End.

RATING: Take my money, UTD%

(Lacan and Mirror Lacan from http://www.campfreudiano.es. Don't ever send your kids to Camp Freudiano.)

21 comments:

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

bil hicks think hes tops but hes really not

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

jk im just insecure

Viking Andrew said...

Bare-knuckles, you would you put money on? Lacan or Foucault?

John said...

As soon as Foucault cut his knuckles, every punch would inflict AIDS on Lacan, so definitely Foucault. He must have picked up some combat skillz via all that gay S&M.

John said...

50 years in purgatory for that joke? 100?

Viking Andrew said...

A joke about Foucault's AIDs. I think I just fell in love all over again.

Viking Andrew said...

More like 50 years in purgatory whilst wearing Foucault's super-hipster glasses. Hey! You already got the hairstyle down! OH!! Boo-yah!

LoCo said...

Like a day in Psych101, only without Dr. Zimmerman's attractive support hose.

John said...

Goddamn italics won't cut and paste.

This isn't psychology, this is motherfucking Anglish! Said my prof in Critical Theory Since Plato: "It doesn't matter, for our purposes, whether psychoanalysis is true, it only has to be useful in the study of literature."

I'm sure it's not true, and I doubt it's more than incidentally useful for the study of literature. It may, however, be useful for the study of creepy literature professors.

Anonymous said...

Learn something new everyday

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

its a great well of humor too obviously

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

hey i really lovet his thing you guys are doing only putting up like two revies aday it makes us appreciate them more (even the boring ones) and they say people who study english dont understand basic econonmic principals like supply and demand ha! just cause most of them are 50k in debt and will never have any way of paying it off...

John said...

I just had to approve a comment on Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA from some guy named Dirk. Since when do comments need approval?

Keeping it (ir)relevant: if you ask a neuropsychologist what they think of Freud or Jung, they'll laugh at you. If you ask them what they think of Lacan, they'll look at you blankly and say, "Who?"

And while you're at it, ask a real fucking linguist about Saussure.

laurie said...

I'm sorry, I stopped reading as soon as I saw the word "cooter." That word only funny on 30 Rock and you ain't no 30 Rock.

John said...

Admit it, you stopped reading when you saw the word "prohibition" because it was too long.

DCP said...

I stopped reading when I saw the word "Lacan."

John said...

"Prohibition" and "long" was an inadvertent Lacanian joke, since the paternal prohibition is, symbolically speaking, a cock. I guess I'm thinking about dicks even when I'm not thinking about dicks.

Speaking of dicks, I'm glad you guys read my posts. It's nice to know my efforts aren't a total waste.

Do either of you fucking jerks know why Dirk's comment needed approval? Did someone change the settings or something"?

DCP said...

I don't even read my own posts. I write them in a somnambulistic haze.

I don't know why Dirk's post needed approval, but it seems to be working fine now.

Chris said...

Wait, what did you really review in this post?

Anonymous said...

LOL!

laurie said...

I think I did that to the comments. I'm pretty sure I set it so we had to approve comments on posts that were more than a certain age. My thinking was that if I had to approve them, I would realize we had comments on the old posts.