Sunday, February 22, 2009

Computer Paper

Having copious amounts of computer paper, or copy paper, can signify several things: 1) You are a student and have to write a billion papers; 2) You are applying for jobs and are printing our neat stacks of your resume but are too cheap to spring for the prettier paper stock; 3) You are a writer and waste countless paper and postage sending out your stories, poems, and manuscripts that never get published. ("All of the above" is a popular possibility, too!) When I was an undergrad I bought more expensive, brighter white paper so that my professors would be blinded by the bright white of the stock into missing that my papers were empty and repetitive. It worked! But now that I am a poor writer/student, I see value in the cheap, thinny-thin paper that my university uses on its public printers -- it is lighter! It costs less to send a 20-page story on dull leaf paper than it does on bright, heavy paper. And whatever you print it on, it's still the same shitty story. So save yourself some money and get the cheapest pack of printer paper from Office Depot -- it's like $5.99 for 500 sheets, which is like... more than a penny for each sheet I guess. Actually that doesn't seem like such a good deal. Go print at school for free.

RATING: 59%

25 comments:

John said...

I wouldn't put that in my mouth.

LoCo said...

Dip it in ketchup and shake on some Kraft powdered Parmesan and you have a reasonable facsimile of Massachusetts pizza.

LoCo said...

You're back with your name!

laurie said...

I steal all my printer paper from the Lexis Nexis room in the library. (TD said we could!) It has their logo on it, but it's free. And it already has holes punched in it for easy putting into my 3-ring binders. When you're spending $45K a year on tuition, you have to save where you can.

McT's Girlfriend said...

Can we assume that daddy is paying the $45K...I don't think my dad, lazy Scotsmen that he is, ever made $45k in a year so I got zilch for my education.

laurie said...

No, we absolutely cannot assume that. Future Laurie will be paying for that.

laurie said...

And why do you have to make the assumption that because a young woman is in law school her dad (or any other man for that matter) has to be paying for it? Would you have said that if I was a guy? I doubt it. NOT COOL.

McT's Girlfriend said...

Sorry...I didn't realize it was PMS time.

laurie said...

Wow, good come back. Jerkface.

LoCo said...

I want pre-hole-punched paper. I would watch it, McTavish. If Laurie goes the route of the grads of her school that my dad used to work for, she'll soon be paying someone 45K/year to push her shopping cart around Costco.

laurie said...

@loco: That is the dream...

McT's Girlfriend said...

@Loco

Just curious, were those grads that your dad worked for, guys or bitches?

McT's Girlfriend said...

@Loco

Don't answer...I want to end this.

laurie said...

This is going to end after I beat your ass down.

John said...

At guys:

Since when did we start putting gay little @ symbols in front of all our comments in the vocative case? You guys know it means "at," right? And just because the liberal fascist coolios on Gawker do it doesn't mean that it's cool?

At thanks.

LoCo said...

They were GUYS. Big jerky GUYS. Who didn't have prenups, hahaha...

John said...

And @ + : is just ridiculous. Why don't we just start writing in 1337 like NBNL?

McT's Girlfriend said...

@John

While you were gone we made a new rule O.K

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

7h@7 w00d b 7175 @5 FUCK!!!!!

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

hey yall i was thinkin gthe other day about how much bill hicks suxxx im really glad he deid b/c nothing that unfunny deserves to live thats all i wanted to say well bye

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

hey remember a long time ago when i was trying to start a flame war with andrew brnisool and i said that people who like anchovees are human trash well i guess i think the same about bill hicks to and its funny cause i really like dennis leery (dueds funny as f***) but bill hix just dosnt do anything fro me

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

hope yall have a good afternnoo and like the red h. c. p.s say ill see you on t. other side

Chris said...

@ John

I second your motion to strike the "at" sign. Sole reason I'll never use Twatter.

John said...

NBNL: Bill Hicks is probably spit roasting your mom with Richard Prior in the afterlife right now.

Chris: Fucking right. Why don't we just write all our comments in fucking wingdings, for fuck's sake.

I just can't seem to stay away from this place. I did get most of my reading done, and I made a real live friend.

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

whose richar prior