Sunday, February 1, 2009

Superbowl

Have you ever had a bowl of cereal or soup? Well, imagine if that bowl was way bigger, then it would be called a superbowl. Also, if instead of generic Captain Crunch with Crunchberries it held 95,000 people and two pro football teams and was broadcast worldwide and American society came to a halt whenever it happened once a year, then it would be called a Superbowl but with a capital 's.' I'm not one of those people who claims to hate the Superbowl, but I've never been able to care about the NFL as much as I care about college football, and that isn't very much to begin with. Football, to me, is about as representative of America as you can get: a lot of stupid people are fans of it, it's entertaining to watch, on the surface it appears to be about mindless violence, but deep down it's hopelessly complex and more about old white men behind the scenes stragegizing their way to victory than anything that happens on the actual field. Go Ravens!

RATING: 59%

23 comments:

laurie said...

I enjoy the Super Bowl to the extent that it involves hot wings. As in, yes I will come to your Super Bowl party, but I will not watch any football and I will leave as soon as the hot wings are gone. And if you don't have hot wings at your Super Bowl party, you are not an American.

Jacqui said...

I never really cared about the Superbowl (or any kind of football for that matter), but since I'm right now surrounded by die hard football fans, I'm making my default team the Steelers. Saves a lot of trouble. Believe me.

PS--Americans don't go nearly as crazy over their football as the Europeans do.

John said...

Stanley cup?

Anonymous said...

I'm not even going to leave a comment on this review.


GO CARDS!!

Sarah said...

I love Puppy Bowl.

LoCo said...

I liked Wipeout. Go Stu!

Chris said...

If you don't like football you're not American.

And if there's one thing America actually has right it's that Americans aren't as crazy about some sports as Europeans. Last I checked fans don't die before/during/after games from violent altercations.

We play with integrity in America (at least our sports).

Nick said...

The Superbowl is great - I can go out while it is on and drive free of traffic and go places and get in free of waiting and people etc.

Other than that, I don't care for football. I do find it hilarious that guys who go out of their way to act macho and let you know how macho they are (meaning: they aren't too secure in their own sexuality), love watching beefy guys with big crotches jump all over each other and touch each other in the naughty places.

And these guys who will make fun of nerdy types will also memorize major arcana about sports, such as box scores going way back etc.

Chris said...

But there are guys who act macho about all kinds of different things.

I've found men entirely insecure about their intellect, and it's a bit ironic those people find themselves "above" sports. I think that screams insecurity just as much as the meatheads to which you're referring.

My only point is the guys at my office who like football are pretty intelligent. And while there are a lot of frat boys who are, perhaps, completely insecure about their sexuality, it goes both ways.

Since I'm terrible at sports I have to be somewhat insecure about my intelligence. And that's probably why I'm a bad sport when it comes to playing Trivial Pursuit.

John said...

I'm SO above sports, TOTALLY straight and BRILLIANT too.

What were we talking about again? How I don't want to sleep with my mother?

Chris said...

I think we were commenting on how terrible I am at sports, and therefore, entirely insecure about my intelligence.

I'll save it for the therapist, I guess.

laurie said...

Hot wings.

Anonymous said...

Bud Light

LoCo said...

When I grow up and adopt, I'm going to send all my kids to nerd school so they don't care about sports like me and all my classmates never cared about sports.

Chris said...

But even the kids at nerd school sort of wish they could play a sport well.

At least, I did. If I could, I wouldn't be unhappy about it. It'd be awesome if I was the greatest pitcher in the world and didn't even give a shit. I'd tell them, "No, I want to design rockets for NASA".

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

poopie balls

Viking Andrew said...

I am so tired of the argument that macho or overtly masculine men must have some sort of issue with their own sexuality. What logical, scientific basis is there for that? This seems like a glaring error in one's inductive reasoning.

Also: " watching beefy guys with big crotches jump all over each other and touch each other in the naughty places."

This is such a hack, psuedo-intellectual point, and has been made a thousand times before--a point similar to, "sports are racist."

Be serious. In fact, we should all "be secure in our sexuality" and realize that sometimes football is just football; sometimes men touch each other in non-sexual ways and sometimes the shit we learn in grad school isn't worth a damn in real life.

Viking Andrew said...

Forgive me for my last comment. I hadn't smoked a cigarette yet.

Nick said...

...it was actually supposed to be a "hack, psuedo-intellectual point." Seems someone is a bit defensive about something, huh.

Chris said...

And the cycle continues...

But I think Andrew makes a good point.

John said...

I think the idea that overly macho men are insecure about their own sexuality is rooted less in science and more in psychoanalytical pseudo-science. There's also a less Oedipal ancient Greek connection, I think, since masculinity and gayness often went hand in hand in the old old days.

But guys who get all testy about comment posts are totally gay. Except me, I mean. I'm gonna go smoke a cigar now and think about dicks--I mean sports.

John said...

You can't spell "psychoanalytical" without "anal."

LipstickMom123 said...

Boy oh boy! You guys are right, football is exiting! I can't get enough of the old pig's skin!