Saturday, February 14, 2009

Star Trek: Nemesis

Star Trek Nemesis is not only the worst Star Trek movie ever made, it is one of the worst products ever created by man in any medium. The plot is some ridiculous bullshit, I don't know, some clone of Captain Picard takes over the Romulans and then is going to destroy Earth but guess what, the Enterprise stops them. The dialogue is awful, and sounds like the juvenile fanfic. "Oh, remember when they mentioned Romulan Ale in the old Star Trek? Let's mention it 90 additional times here!" Also, at Riker and Troi's wedding, they have this awful band that sounds like public domain grocery store music. This is the kind of music the future holds? Jesus, somebody provoke China into starting World War III already and get it over with. And why does Worf, a space alien from 300 years in the future, know who Irving Berlin is? I barely know who Irving Berlin is and I was born in the same century and on the same planet as he was. Look, I could really complain about this movie for 20 more pages, but the lesson is it's awful and I'm glad they'll never make another TNG movie because they definitely don't deserve one after this piece of shit.

RATING: 2%

9 comments:

John said...

Embarrassingly, I saw that piece of shit in the theatre. And I don't even really like Star Trek.

DCP said...

How come my Star Trek or comic book reviews never get 30+ comments? I need to start posting links on nerd forums or something.

DCP said...

Also, I'm pretty proud of that MS Paint Enterprise E.

John said...

That is some pretty tight zero-point perspective. You should write a poem about it.

laurie said...

Yeah that is a pretty mean MS Paint masterpiece. Definitely in the top 5.

John said...

What rhymes with "Enterprise?"

"Center prize?"

Oh wait you don't care.

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

i like its nacelles

LoCo said...

Maybe you could review the episode where Captain Janeway gets an Instead Cup stuck inside her and has to explain the hickey on her cervix to the space doc.

laurie said...

Judging by her uptight demeanor, I'm pretty sure Captain Janeway had one of those permanently lodged in there.