A lot of people hate Valentime's Day. Lots of single people hate it because it makes them feel like total losers who are going to die alone, and lots of married people hate it because they have to have sex, which isn't easy on a full stomach. But I think single people should appreciate Valetime's Day as a reason to get really drunk and have a good cry, which is something people don't do enough. And married people should be happy about the sex, because otherwise the only ones getting laid would be teenage girls, rock stars, and people on welfare.RATING: 84%
(Image from deviantart.com.)
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I don't participate in the wholesale dismissal of Valentine's Day like a lot of people. Sure, it may be blown all out of proportion by money grubbing candy/card companies, but on the other hand isn't it everybody's duty to stimulate the economy by buying American right now? What's wrong with manipulating the masses into feeling compelled to spend money?
Is this some strange Canadian spelling of Valentine's? Here's my Valentine's story. One of my friends sent me some chocolates and wrote on the card, "'Because true friendship, unlike love, lasts forever.' Enjoy this most hated of holidays.'" And it made me cry a little because clearly my friend really understands me. The end.
in Canada, we call it "Le jour de la Saint-Valentin." Your friend sounds very nice, but I bet he's got a hooker on speed-dial.
Hey, Carrot Top maybe a total loser, but he's still not as bad as this guy.
Then again, I guess they both contributed to the decline of decent stand-up comedy. Losers.
Gallagher>Carrot Top. Sorry.
Neither of them can touch Bill Hicks, though, despite the misguided opinions of my philistine colleagues.
I've actually come to the conclusion that they both equally suck.
Bill Hicks=genius, though.
John, are you trying to tell us you go to hookers? Don't tell us man, tell your wife. It's the right thing to do.
Bill Hicks still sucks.
Hookers are awesome. That's why I married one. And I hope you sent that octuplet woman money like she asked.
Holy shit, it's hard to get those commas and periods just right.
I didn't really marry a whore. She's a substitute teacher. I still slap her around on payday, even though it comes in by direct deposit.
Love ya, babe!
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_wish_id_spent_valentines_day?utm_source=b-section
HA ha ha ha fucking hilarious
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