John Updike

John Updike is somebody who wrote this story A&P which Professor Jake (he wants us to call him by his first name) made us read and then come to class and he asked us, in that way he does, “So what is this story about? What happens?” So what. I told him what I thought I said “This dude checks out this girls ass the whole time,” and everybody laughed. But the. thing about Prof Jake is he can’t come down on you. He doesn’t believe in that kinda thing he says while straightening his ponytail. So you. He says to me he says OKay lets run with that. This dude checks out this girls ass the whole time and we all laughed cause he says ass. Then Jake-off (we call him that on Facebook) asks us what this tells us about american culture and we all shut up. I mean, what the fuck? Seriously. What the fuck! Plus we all knew Rebecca Chalmers was gonna answer anyway cause she always does cause Im pretty sure I don’t know it but Im pretty fuckin sure she’s giving jake-off all sorts of bjes during his office hours. And she did! I mean she told us. She told us all about A&P and John Updike and shit. But I don’t know what she said[ I was texting my bro Crispin about his lakehouse and jagerbombs. In conclusion, John Updike wrote 61 books, among them A&P and died a few years ago from lung cancer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Updike#Early_life) and the world will never recover.

42%butthat'sjustmyopinionandyoumightdisagreed.

This post by Viking Andrew.

(Image from www.guardian.co.uk. Also, check out this hilarious editorial about John Updike at The Onion.)