Pacific Standard Time

I hope someone is reading this, before it's too late...I recently moved to Washington (state, not city), and something strange happened on the flight over here. I must've passed through a tear in the space-time continuum, because for whatever reason, I seem to have thrust myself (get this) forward in time by approximately three hours. While I know this may be hard to believe, and while I have no rational explanation for it, I've found that this isn't a temporary effect - it seems to be permanent!

WHY DO NFL GAMES START AT 10:00 IN THE MORNING!? HOW IS IT THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH THE END OF BASEBALL GAMES WITHOUT FEELING TIRED?

I assure you, I am not making this up. Please help me. My story must be told.

RATING: 89%

(photo courtesy of some dude's photobucket, I think)