Half and half is like coffee cream with water in it. Unfortunately, it's usually the creamiest thing you can put in your coffee in the Dallas area, and probably elsewhere in the U.S. Since the cattle on American factory farms pretty much lactate pure pus anyway, I guess it's for the best.RATING: 50%, duh.
(Image from jknz.co.nz. I despise Damien Hirst, but where else am I going to find a picture of half a cow?)
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19 comments:
I'm pretty sure it's half cream, half milk. And the preserved animals Hirst stuff is pretty cool. The diamond skull era shit is well...shit.
Yeah, I know what half and half is. Hence the simile.
I hate everything Hirst does. He's almost as big a piece of shit as Matthew Barney.
Ha ha.
clicked both links
the first one made me feel icky and made me want to force my cat to puke up the milk she dank this mornng
second one made me lol that shit funny as f
second one whte ha ha one i mean
John, you seem extra crabby since you chipped that tooth.
I have 3 twenty page papers due and a french exam in the next 3 weeks. I live alone in a horrible city where everyone loves Jesus, you can't get a beer unless you make it a fucking date, no one ever gets out of their car, and if you crack a joke people check their fucking day planners to see if they have time to laugh at it.
If by "crabby" you mean "beginning to understand why American colleges have so many mass-murder/suicides" then call me Mr. Crabby.
On the other hand, I'm really starting to like grackles. And I'd never seen a monarch butterfly before I moved here either. So you win some, you lose some.
Laurie, posting on "Written Courtesy" one second before posting about John's crabbiness:
"Are you fucking kidding me? I see your point, but assert that you have too much free time on your hands if you have time to bitch about this. "
Yeah, Laurie and I are always duking it out to see who's "top bitch" on R3. Speaking creepily, I'd call it "creative friction."
Also, no offense to Viking Andrew, who's as fine a Dallasite as I've been able to find. I had a lot of fun on our totally hetero man-date.
Yeah yeah yeah.
I don't see what you're complaining about. If there's a city more pro-commerce, pro-market, pro-I'm-getting-paid-motherfucker, I can't think of it. Hence the day planners and dates. People can't be spontaneous or friendly when they're working 90-hours a week. What you're really lamenting is the easy-going, I've-got-nothing-else-to-do lifestyle granted ye Canadiens via social-democracy.
Dallas survival kit: A suit and tie; hair gel; a Blackberry and a PDA and an iPhone; a Ford F-250 King Ranch Edition (complete with heated seats); a Stetson; cocaine.
Once you have all that, the grackles won't seem so horrific.
Love and War (in Texas),
Viking A.
You're definitely onto something: business and busy-ness are cognates, after all. I guess I'll start gelling my hair.
No way, dude. Just gel the beard.
Also, I was trying to score Stars tickets for like a month, hoping their unravel would lower prices. Thought we could go. No dice, though. Those seats are held down by execs and whatnot.
I had no idea that Dallas has this thriving business community. 90 hour work weeks AND Bbq? Where do I sign up? (Kind of serious here...)
What's funny about me and John is that I actually really like John. Sure, he gets a little pedantic and bitchy from time to time (or rather, every day), but he's good people. Someday I hope he and Robyn will adopt me. Seriously tho, I wouldn't be so mean to someone I didn't like. I would actually rip that person apart with logic and reason instead of just saying "hey McBitchy, why don't you quit ur bitchin" like I do with I.J.
@Laurie
Factoids:
The city itself is home to 15 billionaires, placing it 9th worldwide among cities with the most billionaires.
The Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex as a whole has one of the largest concentration of corporate headquarters in the United States.
In addition to its large number of businesses, Dallas has more shopping centers per capita than any other city in the United States.
Pretty good for a city of 1.5 million. I mean, not my cup of tea, but if you're into garish downtowns and money, why not?
Footnote: All facts stolen from Wikipedia, because it's never wrong.
Yeah, but then why is Dallas' downtown so lame? No one's ever down there, there's nothing going on, just a bunch of massive, cold architecture and grackles shitting on the outdoor tables of cafes no one goes to. Robyn and I went down there to look around at 8:30 on a Friday night, and we couldn't find anything but empty, tacky theme restaurants and cowboy clothing stores for tourists.
I'm glad you asked.
Downtown Dallas is separated by I-75 into the older, east side and the Victory Park area, which includes the AA Center and was, until I was eighteen, mostly cow pasture.
East downtown sucks because it is mostly commerce, and its lively area consisted of Deep Ellum (Elm); until the early oughts, Deep Ellum was the happening place (and indeed where both Leadbelly and Robert Johnson made their names). But many of the clubs in Deep Ellum were fronts for the Aryan Brotherhood, and in 2003 or so they attacked and killed a Native American dude, and the city turned its back on most of the clubs. The area died.
West downtown is a creation of Hillwood Development Corps (my girlfriend's father is one of their lead accountants) and the idea behind it was to create a posh, happenin' place for incredibly rich foreigners. I'm not kidding. They really wanted to pull in the Teuton; the idea was to create an area in which multi-millionaires from around the world could shop, dine, etc. It never took off (in fact the connection between Dallas and European conglomerates is widespread and multi-faceted, and I'd love to tell you about it, but I've already written too much. Next time at the bar?).
Really, Dallas' downtown isn't too much different than downtown LA or San Fran, in that western American cities are built on the principle of sprawl (see: Houston). The happening places are Lower Greenville Ave. and Knox / Henderson, where there are bars ranging from Club Douche to bars where the only thing offered is beer and whiskey, and you get thrown out for cussing.
I'll play tourguide next time.
Have you ever been thrown out for cussing?
Well, no. But Ship'shas a reputation for being one of those bars where your dad went to get away from your mom's nagging.
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