Monday, April 27, 2009

Boom!

No one else has mentioned it, so I guess it’s up to your good ol’ sports uterus to take the reins: John Madden has retired. Madden is best known for his sometimes bizarre but always entertaining color commentary during NFL games, his best-selling video game and his use of the telestrator. But he also won a Super Bowl with the Raiders before they became a grotesque joke. I’ll miss Madden; he’s pretty much the background noise to my childhood, and anytime I hear a bumbling, corpulent, superlative-heavy commentator, I’ll think sweetly on Madden’s eyebrows.

Rating: 97%

11 comments:

Chris said...

I wept alone the night I heard Madden was retiring.

I used to love listening to him on FOX during the Cowboys' games. It was only after he left FOX I realized how ridiculous and senile he had become.

Internet John said...

Yeah, I was gonna be all over this one but then I figured, "Why not let Viking Andrew have it?"

in other, better news, Dominik Hasek is playing again.

Viking Andrew said...

Yeah, he and Pat Summerall were absolute greatness.

Hey, I give big-ups to hockey for allowing fights. Part of the deal, though, with being tuff-e-nuff, is marginalization.

Bitch said...

I thought John Madden died in the 1970s. Well, maybe I was just wishing it.

laurie said...

I'm sorry I didn't comment, Andrew. I just don't care about sports.

Internet John said...

Yeah, I like sports, I just hate football. And Americans. And apple pie, Chevy and white Jesus.

Internet John said...

Also, it's not like you posted under my recent post. Dick.

You should start writing posts in that regional hick dialect that every American writer always uses even if they're not a real hick.

Viking Andrew said...

Speaking of swine flu (pigskin! get it?!), I dare you to watch this and not lose your mind

Viking Andrew said...

Hockey is weird.

Internet John said...

"Homosocial bonding"

loco said...

I loved Steve Madden, even when he went to jail! When he got out, his shoes just weren't the same anymore.