Sunday, April 12, 2009

Nicotine Fit

It's like a flashing, 40' neon sign in your head saying "SMOKE SMOKE SMOKE, KILL KILL KILL!" Everything everyone says is either bullshit or personally insulting. All business at hand that doesn't involve smoking a cigarette is either stupid or way too hard. You know that scene in Un chien andalou where the guy's hand gets cut open and all the ants come pouring out? I didn't get it until just now.

RATING: 4%

(Image from static.guim.co.uk.)

4 comments:

Viking Andrew said...

I agree. Children, don't even quit smoking.

RJ Reynolds said...

My Friend,

You have it all wrong! Nicotine is not the problem, nicotine is the solution--especially if the nicotine is inhaled from Camels, Dorals, Vantages or Winstons.

We've noticed a pattern in your posts on R3. Every weekend, you show anger and frustration. This can't be caused by nicotine. If it were, you'd be this way all week. No, your weekend problems are due to a lack of tail (note, masturbation does not count as tail). We recommend that you get yourself a whore to pass the time away. If you have trouble finding one that isn't hideous, we have contacts who can help you.

Whatever you do, don't stop smoking. That'll hurt the economy, and everyone must do their part to dig us out of this mess.

John said...

You're off your tits, RJ. I need another woman like a hole in the head.

laurie said...

Jesus, John, get some fucking nicotine gum or something.