Friday, April 10, 2009

Pizza Hut

Kevin on The Office said it best: "It's like eating a hot circle of garbage." The toppings are pedestrian and of dubious freshness, the crust tastes like grease and MSG, and the slogan "Now you're eating!" is even stupider than Dane Cook's latest DVD. Pizza where I'm from is bad, but pizza in Texas is bad.

RATING: 13%, but I'm sure I'll end up ordering it again sooner or later.

(Image from ineedattention.com.)

13 comments:

laurie said...

So I was over at this dudes place the other week and noticed he had a stack of 4-5 pizza boxes from Domino's. This is weird, of course, because we live in Brooklyn, where delicious non-Domino's pizza is born. So I asked, what's with all the Domino's boxes? Then he told me he likes to order from there because he can order it online and avoid interaction with another human over the phone. I think I knew it right then and there but sure enough, over the course of the next week, this guy proved himself to be a real dud. Another pathetic dating anecdote brought to you by Laurie's pathetic single life.

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

but... i like dane coook...

Anonymous said...

I didn't know Pizza Hut was big in England. And who is Kevin on the show? I know David Brent, Tim, Dawn, and Gareth. Oh, maybe you meant Keith--the rather large scotch-egg eating dude.

If you get a chance watch Ricky Gervais really kick ass on The Graham Norton Show with the beautiful Thandie Newton. You can see a bit of his smackdown here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFNmjJvPe7c You don't hear Leno or Letterman using the term "stupid cunt" like they do on British talk shows.

John from Daejeon

John said...

I was talking about the American Office, although the more I watch the shit later seasons of the American show (i.e. everything after season 2) the more I think the British one is funnier.

I don't know if Pizza Hut is big in England or not. I thought they all ate chicken tandoori all the time.

Anonymous said...

Here's a little more from Graham Norton: www.youtube.com/watch?v=03YTrGYhBPQ& It's a live on-air raunchy phone call with Russell Brand. It's amazing the language they use across the pond.

The episode with the stars of the "Dukes of Hazzard" was also quite good, as the good ol' boys, and girl, experienced the uniqueness of the show first-hand, but they were good sports and played along with the host and audience.

John from Daejeon

John said...

Please hold... your cock!

Robyn said...

I wish there were a Vito's that would deliver!

Anonymous said...

I take it you liked the clip Internet John.

I wish I could track down some of Graham Norton's clips with Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Priceless is an understatement. But here's a great one about wool underwear when he had on Elle MacPherson: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqQPxsJemnA You can purchase the articles that he had a few of his audience members model. Talk about holding "your cock." The poor guy got hard on live TV.

John from Daejeon

Anonymous said...

This one is for Laurie: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJk0FHnmqzA&

It seems that the dating pool in England isn't much better. But damn it's funny! His guests were a hobbit and an old tramp on this episode.

John from Daejeon

laurie said...

Yeah well, British men are by and large pretty ugly. Sorry British guys!

LoCo said...

In college, they would give us the little personal-pan pizzas for free. Also breadsticks. They were fine. Pizza Mia, on the other hand... hot circle of garbage seems pretty apt.

Timmaaay!!! said...

Pizza Slut is to pizza what Taco Hell is to Mexican food.

John said...

IMO, the way you can usually tell good takeout food from garbage is to eat it after it's cold. Cold Pizza Hut tastes like dough powder mix, cardboard, and clotted grease. Cold D&A pizza from down the street tastes like tomatoes, green peppers, mozzeralla cheese, pepperoni, etc. Also, Pizza Hut is extremely salty. It's like they want to hide the quality of their shitty ingredients by loading on the salt and grease.