Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Papers

Papers are a fucking pain in the ass to research and write, and the hilarious thing is that no one else ever believes they're real work:

ANTHONY: You look like shit. What have you been doing for the past 4 weeks?

YOU: Oh my God, it's been a nightmare! First I had to read about some imaginary characters and dead people, then I had to read some books and articles about them, then I had to sit in a comfy chair with a cup of coffee and peck at a keyboard for 10 days straight.

ANTHONY: I dig ditches with my shirt off for 12 hours a day, and before that I was in jail. Also, me and Sheila put a new deck on the house.

You put in all that time and energy and then who wants to read 70 pages of scholarly gobbledygook? Not you. Not your friends. Not your mom. Certainly not your professors. It's pretty much exactly like masturbating into the toilet except not fun.

RATING: 18%

(Image from www.californiawinehikes.com.)

12 comments:

Viking Andrew said...

And also, when you tell Anthony about writing a paper he looks at you like, "You mean that bullshit they made us do in middle school? Why the fuck would you ever write a paper?"

John said...

I think you're attributing qualities to Anthony that may not exist, such as a basic grasp of the subjunctive form and a middle school education. Settle down there, Poindexter.

McT's Girlfriend said...

Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim.

laurie said...

I'll read it! We can make a trade. I'll send you the 30 page legal paper I'm finishing up this week and you can send me your 70 page imaginary people paper. I bet at the end we'll both remember why we chose our respective paths in life.

John said...

I'm into Anglish for the money and the groupies.

Robyn said...

Well, whatever you do, please don't ever part your hair like that dude in the photo.

His facial expression can mean a couple of things. I bet if we could look at that picture from a different angle we could see that his computer screen is showing a bunch of facebook quizzes or addicting online games.

John said...

@ Robyn
Just what are you trying to say? You know, Desdamona may have let Othello choke her out but he still did it. And the only thing more desperate than an angry black man is an angry fat man.

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

hhhhhaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

R. said...

I'm so glad my antagonizing has got you riled up. Come and choke me...I'm waiting. wink wink

r. said...

ps.how desperate is a fat, angry black man?

John said...

Sorry, buggy, it's not a sex thing, it's a power thing. Also, don't say "black man." That's racist!