Thursday, November 6, 2008

Moonraker

This is without a doubt the worst fucking James Bond movie there is. I cannot comprehend how the franchise ever recovered from this, or how Roger "Zero Charisma" Moore kept being James Bond for like two more movies. It was made to cash in on the Star Wars money train (space train I guess) so the climactic moment takes place on a space station designed by some megalomaniac who wants to start the human race again, in space, and also there are a lot of space lasers everywhere. This movie features Looney Tunes like comedy (a henchman named Jaws falls in love to Tchakovsky's Romeo and Juliet), terrible acting all around, and not one, but two boat chases. Boat chases? Can't we all just agree that there's not such thing as an exciting boat chase? Anyway, this movie's bad and everybody associated with making it is also a bad person so sorry if they're your third cousin or something bucko.

RATING: 22%

4 comments:

Jacqui said...

Yeah, this was the culprit that made me dislike Bond movies for a good while.

John said...

22% is still better than 17%, which is what Rotten Tomatoes gave the actual Money Train with Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. I'll take Wesley Snipes over Roger Moore any day of the week, though.

Do you think he was a worse Bond than Pierce Brosnan? I can't really take that guy seriously either.

DCP said...

Well, I think Pierce Brosnan at least tried to put some legitimate moments of emotion into his bond between puns. Also (and this is probably just when they were made) his movies are much better made than Moores.

Anonymous said...

"Can't we all just agree that there's not such thing as an exciting boat chase?"

It's about time somebody said it. Take THAT, John Woo! (and Police Academy 5) =)