In a business letter or email*, a formal salutation lets the other person know you're civilized. Opening a business email with "Dear Mr. Crabbit" doesn't mean you want to be Mr. Crabbit's girlfriend or boyfriend, it lets him know that you're a regular user of shoes and toilet paper. I'm so sick of getting emails from American institutions that open with "Hi Jonathan," when 1) we're not on a first name basis; 2) if we were, they'd realize that no one calls me that except my mother and sisters; and 3) it's misspelled and missing a comma. Canadians, who tend to be more formal, will often open a business email with a simple "Hello," which is even worse. It says, "I barely give enough of a shit to greet you, let alone remember your name." And concerning To Whom it May Concern, if you're not the Queen of Sheba posting a royal decree for your unspecified subjects, the way to say it without sounding like a self-important twat is Dear Sir or Madam.If this keeps up, we'll all be communicating in grunts and howls and eating our morning cereal out of the toilet in 30 years.
RATING: Ign'nt%
*Email etiquette is a contested issue. See the comments section for a different perspective.
(Image from www.point-spreads.com.)
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18 comments:
Are you fucking kidding me? I see your point, but assert that you have too much free time on your hands if you have time to bitch about this.
Courteous expressions convey a kind of institutionalized respect. If you can show that respect in other ways, good for you. Unfortunately many people can't, and they sound rude and/or stupid. That's acceptable if you work in a sardine canning plant. If you're a secretary or coordinator of some kind, knowing how to be polite in written English is a matter of professional competence.
And who's making worse use of their time, me writing the posts or you bitching about them?
:P
deer jonathan
y u bein a buttfucker
sincerly,
yrs
Don't be hatin', nBNL. I think your mom looks nice in a pearl necklace.
Although email etiquette is evolving, I don't think it's at a stage where a formal salutation is expected. Email began as a convenient substitute for old fashioned memos and not as a substitute for business letters. Like email, a memo has four sections: 'To', 'From', 'Subject' and the body. Some old-timers still use them and there are tons in company archives. The body of a memo never begins with a salutation. So, a lack of salutation in an email isn't an indication of not being civilized; rather, it's conforming with email's origins. When I get an email that begins with, "Dear Mr. McFartsack,' I always wonder if the sender is from Dorkland. When you want (or need) formality, but you also want the speed of email, it's become accepted practice to attach a formal business letter, with signature and everything, to your email as a pdf file.
Let the fireworks begin.
@ Andrew
What are you talking about?
@ Anonymous
Interesting point, but you send memos to people with whom you've already established a relationship. I'm not saying that beginning your email with "Dear so-and-so" is the only way to do it, although it's how I do it, dorky or not. What I am saying is that there are ways to use language to convey both respect and social distance, and I often get emails from complete strangers who can do neither. I'd honestly prefer an attached business letter to a two line email in which someone I've never met says "Howdy" and misspells and misuses my first name, but I think it's rather unnecessary. "Dear Mr. *****," or even, "Hello, Mr. ****" will do just fine.
Email etiquette is evolving. I guess you could say this post is performative rather than conservative in intent.
deer mr(s?) anonamous,
id v. much like it if u got a name so that i. jon will know wat to call you wen he has hate dreams about you b/c you called him out on glen webpage
sincerly
yrs
I hate getting letters addressed To Whom It May Concern.
I especially hate it, when they are from parents of my students.
I know! You know the parent knows your name because the kid knows your name. It's one thing if it's a general excuse for use with more than one teacher, but when it involves specific issues in your class, like...
To Whom It May Concern
Please take time away from teaching your other students to give little Haley/Baley/Daley/Bryson/Tyson/Madison extra help because s/he slept in and missed your math class because I let him or her stay up all night playing video games/instant messaging his or her little friends.
...it's just inexcusable. The next time it happens to me, I'm going to tell the little bastard that my name isn't "Whom it may concern," and that until I get a letter with my name on it, the usual rules apply.
Actually, I probably won't do that, but I'll threaten it for next time. It's never a good idea to be an asshole to kids just because of their parents.
When did we start talking about children? What is going on here?
Are you high, or do you just skip to the last comment every time?
ps - I like our anon commenters. I mean, I wish they had names, but I'm still happy they are around and commenting.
John, may I please forward all correspondence with my underachieving students' enabling parents to you?
@ Timmaaay!!!
Just attach it to the memo in a separate file.
@John: I missed one tiny comment among a bunch of long ones. So sue me.
I won't have to. With that kind of attention to detail, a lawyer will practically sue herself.
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