When I was digging in my cabinets a minute ago I found an old fortune cookie and figured hey what the hell. Little did I know that this cookie contained some sort of bullshit metanarrative/ironic fortune. (Actually I only have the vaguest memory of all that literary theory nonsense from undergrad so I'm not really sure what this fortune is, but it certainly feels like bullshit.) This is totally unfair. Fortunes should strictly tell fortunes. I don't need it to tell me I'm nice, or that the sky is blue, or that life is all a crock of crap. Just tell me my fortune, you stupid cookie!Post-Modern Cookie Fortunes: 5%
(Okay so it is a little funny)
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I have a similar story. A guy I lived with in college was digging under his bed and found an old bowl of spaghetti. True.
The worst thing is, his fucking guinea pigs smelled so bad that no one noticed that there was a nasty, decomposing bowl of pasta less than 20 feet from where we'd all sit and watch T.V.
So...there were guinea pigs, too?
Yes. Filthy ones.
This guy was so dirty that when he'd be in the shower, we'd joke that he was just sitting on the toilet with the lid down and running the water so that everyone would think he was showering.
At this Chinese restaurant in Maine, where we'd go to drink volcano bowls(not to eat), we got some of the funniest fortune cookies.
1) That wasn't chicken.
2)You will receive a fortune cookie.
3)You love Chinese food. Get one to go!
Do you ever play the fortune cookie "in bed" game?
In this case it would be:
Fortune not Found. Abort, retry, ignore...in bed!
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