When I was eight years old we got a Nintendo Entertainment System. It was one of the second or third generation models with the orange zapper gun. I never really understood why, since every time my mother saw us playing it she'd tell us to turn it off, but on that joyous Christmas afternoon when my brother and I were sitting down to play Rampage for the first time, a visiting family friend who was on her way out the door admonished us, "Don't get square eyes." I'm not sure what she'd make of my current enslavement to the MacBook pro, but I think she'd approve of my desire to dig a hole in my apartment complex's noisily manicured lawn for the purpose of burying my head in it for a few hours.RATING: God, if you're out there, save me from information hell%
(Image from hagenillustration.blogspot.com.)
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Sometimes I think about how much time I spend looking at various lighted screens all day...mostly just a computer or blackberry, but occasionally a tv or movie screen...and I worry about what it's doing to my brain...and then I try not to think about it and check my blackberry again.
What I think is funny is how often people take their phones or blackberries out because they feel uncomfortable. Me, I've been trying to master the ol'e "stare at a fixed point way off in the distance" trick, mostly because I'm embarrassed my information pod is so old.
I talk to strangers. Like if I'm at a bar and my friend is late I talk to the other weirdos sitting alone at the bar.
I'm one of the weirdos sitting alone at the bar. But I don't want you to talk to me. Bitch.
Well you can just go fuck yourself. Which is probably the best you can do anyway, given your looks and attitude.
I'm not myself today...I'm usually very nice.
No, Fyfa, I'd say you're an excellent judge of character. All women with short hair are either bitches or lesbians. Just like all men with moustaches are either cops or gay. It's, like, a fact.
Well damn John, I'm a little bit of both of those things.
A gay cop? But you don't have a moustache!
Well, I guess it's back to the prejudicial drawing board...
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