Hey. Remember that class in high school where you were taught the idiosyncrasies of the résumé? Well, if you're even an orbital member of academia, it doesn't matter. So fuck you, Mrs. Steinman! Curriculum vitae can be as long as you want! Freedom! L*nc* Ols*n’s CV runs 32 pages. R*n C*rls*n’s a scant 27*. So get at it. Remember in second grade when you fed the neighborhood dog too many raw chicken livers and he vomited on your mother's peonies and later had to be rushed to animal ICU for an emergency procedure? File that under Pedagogical Experience. Rating: 50%
*Star thingies added for the purpose of masking identities of certain high-ranking professors. I need a job, and want no credible association with this blog until I’ve been hired.
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7 comments:
My CV is like a Candace Bushnell novel. Everybody loves its size; nobody's satisfied by its quality.
And by Candace Bushnell novel, I mean my penis.
I'm guessing "skilled in the art of the summary" is on page 29.
If I ever got a CV from a guy named Dick Savage, I'd hire him without even reading it for sure.
I guess I'd want to see his driver's license, though.
Funny how both words for work history are from dead (well, one is getting there) languages.
John from Daejeon
You need a better image for this post. I think you should just have a bleeding white guy in a sports uniform on everything you write.
Truth: once I leave academia, I will never need my CV again! I still update my "grown-up" resume to keep it shiny for when I need a real job.
It's like you guys live in an entirely different universe than I do.
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