Thursday, October 2, 2008

Spankings

Remember when you were little and your parents would get you not to do things by threatening you with spankings? And you were like, "Nooo!" because spankings hurt and you interpreted as your parents finally showing how much they hated you? And then when you grew up and told your parents, "See, you guys spanked me, and I turned out okay"? And then your parents acted shocked and tried to claim that they never spanked you? But by then it wasn't a big deal because you'd forgotten all about bad-spanking and discovered things like the kitty crop (pictured!) which has both a leather side and a suede side, and you actually wanted people to spank you with it? Okay fine, maybe I am pushing my narrative onto you. I do not want you to feel beholden to my narrative. But I do want you, if you have ever been interested in owning a crop but were afraid what that would mean for feminism or to your therapist or whatever, to think seriously about the kitty crop. I mean it looks like a CAT! How scary could that possibly be? There is also one called the LOLLIPOP. ADORABLE.

RATING: (when you're younger) 3%
(when you have an animal-shaped fun-crop) 81%

2 comments:

John said...

We need more charming and deviant reviews like this one, dudes.

LoCo said...

Why thank you.

I didn't say this in my post, but I'll say it now: I can't imagine disciplining my (potential future) kids without spanking them. Not HARD, but what else are you supposed to do? There one of my parents' siblings didn't spank their kids and they were holy terrors. Maybe this is just another reason I should not reproduce, I dunno.