Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The First Hamburger

I'm not sure who invented the first hamburger, but I think it was the Apostle Paul who was instructed by Jesus, after his resurrection, to give the people something worthwhile for once. It seems it takes more than grace and redemption from sin to make man (and okay, woman) happy. I'm sure Paul was giving out burgers at the time of the first church to boost attendance and convert the Jews (hey, cheeseburgers!). But that's all hearsay, and I'd have to check my Gideon Bible to be certain. Personally I love burgers, but it won't get me to go to church. Nice try, guys.

RATING: 99%

13 comments:

DCP said...

Even if the body of Christ was a delicious burger? Every Sunday? For free?

Chris said...

I probably would, actually.

Paul originally intended to have the body of Christ be a burger.

That'd be a beautiful Eucharist, and I'd be 1/7th of the way to heaven. It's a win-win. Good call.

John said...

Hearsay, or heresy?

BURN THE HERETIC!

Chris said...

I wanted to find a way to use both of them, but I decided that took too much thought.

Anonymous said...

Louis' Lunch in New Haven, CT invented the first hamburger sandwich.

http://www.louislunch.com/

Chris said...

Yeah, the New York Times posted an article stating that Fletcher Davis (from Athens, TX) might have possibly created the first burger in the late 1800's.

Then there are the Menches brothers and their "Hamburg sandwich".

It's more likely that only our Savior could have possibly created such incredible goodness.

Anonymous said...

Paul wasn't in charge of converting the Jews, as he was a Jew himself. That was Peter's job. Paul was in charge of converting the Gentiles.

Otherwise, a great post.

I like hamburgers.

I like hamburgers, too.

LoCo said...

I'm pretty sure the only things invented in New Haven, CT are arrogance and bullet-proof vests.

I do remember the parable of The First Hamburger. Was that in I Samuel, II Samuel, or III Samuel?

Chris said...

You're right that Paul was in charge of converting the Gentiles.

But I believe Peter was a Jew as well.

I hope I've lead no souls astray. I will go eat a burger and then go to confession.

John said...

I think Viking Andrew knew the Parable of the Talents all along. He was just testing me.

Anonymous said...

Dearest John,


I don't know shit. Did I not prove that at Flying Saucer?

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

ananamouse pooping on this party

Walter Benjamin and the Mechanical Reproductions (the band) said...

(sory im runing a little behind