Listen, Banjo Guy, we both know you didn't bring that banjo to the bar to regale us with banjo songs, because you haven't played it once all night. I'd also bet a prize pig and three jugs of moonshine that you're not going to a banjo band practice later on, since it's one o'clock in the morning. Now I don't particularly hate bluegrass music, but I do particularly hate other straight males under 30 who think they're cute, and the temptation to wrest that hillbilly hipster fashion accessory from your little white stick arms and use it to give you the beating and/or strangling of a lifetime is hard to resist. On the upside, you'll probably look cooler with a neck brace than you do with a fucking banjo, and the little girls will be falling all over themselves to sign your multiple casts.
RATING: HEAVY METAL%
(Image from crabapplenyc.wordpress.com.)