Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Urination

No, I'm not reviewing the finer subtleties of urine, but rather the act of expelling urine from the urethra (in my case, the penis). I like urinating most of the time. When I've been drinking, and have to urinate, it's just time away from drinking, but sometimes you need a break from the day. And sometimes, you've got to do it so bad the ladies describe it as orgasmic. Hey, I'm not the guy who makes those groaning sounds while he urinates. Show some class, man. Urinating is probably more fun for guys because you can urinate on a church lawn at 3am, behind a dumpster off the freeway, in a bottle, etc. For women those tricks are not so easy. But hey, it beats pissing out a kidney stone. Unless you're a woman.

RATING: 80%

19 comments:

Viking Andrew said...

Kidney stones hurt, but the drugs they give you are t as f.

Chris said...

Yeah, if I had a kidney stone I'd force them to use that laser shit, and give me a lot of drugs.

Nothing beats a laser and drugs.

Viking Andrew said...

Stay away from beer, kids.





HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

I love how the golden showers are coming out of the mouth in the pic... classy

Glenn said...

This is what I get for not copyrighting my work.

Internet John said...

A guy I know pissed on the front door of our local hardware store wearing the RCMP Safety Bear costume from a parade earlier that day. He also sold certain, uh, party favours to my kid brother's high school friends wearing the same outfit.

Chris said...

My favourite party favours.

Oh man, that's some fucked up English.

laurie said...

Alright now, this is the second reference to peeing on a church lawn at 3am that you've made this week. Have you been desecrating holy ground, Chris? Also, I love that this has an R. Kelly tag. Very appropriate.

@IJ: Canada is starting to sound like a fun drunken party place.

Martha said...

oh god chris... really? pee is worth a review?

Internet John said...

It's favorite. You drop the u when other stuff comes after, e.g. rigour, rigorous.

Internet John said...

@ L
Canadians have been known to have a few drinks. You can't pass out outside, though--the bears will fuck you up.

(not) Brent Newland said...

i peed on a nativity scene in boston common and there were like a hundred people around me

(not) Brent Newland said...

they were just hanging out though (from the description i gave it sound like they were cheering me on or smthig)

loco said...

I don't think the golden shower is coming OUT of the mouth, there....

Anonymous said...

yes it is...

Chris said...

Pee is worth a review, but if you read my first sentence...

And I quote (myself):

"No, I'm not reviewing the finer subtleties of urine, but rather the act of expelling urine from the urethra (in my case, the penis)."

Internet John said...

You should have said "my penis." Unless that's your thing:

CHRIS: Are you ready for the penis?

PARTNER: I don't know.

Internet John said...

When the cops came to my school they told me that one time a guy who looked like me got peed on in the bathtub by a woman while really high on acid. It was apparently a bet, in which he reportedly won a bottle of vodka even though 2 of his shit talking friends backed out and he had to drink the vodka with the one remaining friend who paid for it.

Thank God we have police and soldiers to protect us from drug crazed reprobates.

(not) Brent Newland said...

r kelly tag