The hippopotamus amphibius, or "river horse," is responsible for several hundred human fatalities each year—more than lions and crocodiles put together. Its tusks, which often appear adorably Chiclet-like in artistic depictions, are actually long and sharp enough to cut a full grown man in half. A hippo can run up to 30 miles per hour, so if one charges you and you're not carrying artillery-grade weaponry, you're pretty much fucked. However, if King Hippo charges you, all you have to do is throw a punch at his open mouth and then hit him in the stomach about 50 times while he's trying to pull up his pants. RATING: 91%
(Image from z.about.com.)
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7 comments:
Oh nintendo, how you have failed to prepare me for the real world...
Not quite true--if you remember your lessons from Contra and take the spread gun rather than the flamethrower, you should be fine.
I've been terrified of Hippos ever since I read the book Congo. (Please don't knock me for reading Congo, I was about 12 years old at the time.) Thanks for outing the evil fuckers. However, there are no Hippos in Contra. Unless there is some sort of crazy Canadian Contra that I am unaware of.
Ps- I was afraid the full grown man link would lead to a horrible picture of a ripped in half man.
Have you have seen a hippo mark his territory? GROSS!
I saw that, and an elephant boner on that trip to the zoo. Unforgettable experience!
Well Quammy has been half a man, more or less, ever since The Accident, but there's a court order says I'm not supposed to talk about it.
Leave my horribly disfigured torso out of this! Also, I have a lot of pants and shoes that I won't be needing anymore, if anyone is interested.
check it out.
hippo territory
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