Monday, August 24, 2009

Fat Chicks

The stereotype that fat chicks are lazier than skinny chicks is not necessarily true, but they do tend to eat more than their share of the corn. On the other hand, they're robust in times of material scarcity, and they're awfully cute.

RATING: A whopping 80%

(Image from commons.wikimedia.org.)

16 comments:

Belabras said...

I predict a firestorm in the comments here.

That said, I support the full figured chicks agenda.

Internet John said...

Nah. Luckily for us, chicks don't read good.

laurie said...

What exactly is the point of this post?

Internet John said...

I highly doubt you could tell me the "exact point" of any of the other 1,349 posts on this blog, but I'll play ball. Since you asked. Do me a favour, though, and try to resist your usual inclination to read the first three lines and skip the rest.

I was looking through our recent posts and saw the reviews of More to Love and Skinny Bitch, and figured I'd further develop a burgeoning theme in a roguish, irreverent way. While musing on the cruel but oft-employed term "fat chick," it occurred to me that while overweight women (sometimes called "realistically proportioned" women in our well-fed homeland) are often scorned by their skinnier counterparts of both sexes, extra weight is widely regarded as a sign of vigour and health by animal husbandmen (and women), as well as in societies where women regularly starve to death while pregnant. Continuing this meandering line of thought, the term "chick" can be read as either a degrading comparison of women to livestock (a practice beginning, in writing, in Xenophon's Oeconomicus and continuing through European literature, notably in The Taming of the Shrew, or as a flattering comparison with a newborn chicken, evoking characteristics such as soft skin and large eyes: characteristics indicative, on one hand, of youthful nubility, and on the other, of the distinctly neotenic nature of our species as a whole. The term "fat chick" is onstensibly abusive, but the status it designates is profoundly ambivalent.

Seeking to express this more concisely, I elected to try to dispel one stereotype, that overweight women are lazy--I know for a fact that many, even most of them are not--but to reinforce another, namely that overweight women often overeat--I know for a fact that many, even most of them do. In the last lines of the post, I tried to establish both the utility and possible attractiveness of extra weight while maintaining an ironically chauvinistic, objectifying tone, with the implicit aim of demonstrating that the matter isn't as simple as sexist assholes thinking fat chicks are gross and sensitive guys seeing their true beauty.

(Perhaps I went a bit overboard in my response to Belebras, but I was trying to further establish the character and maintain the double-entendre in which the post was written.)

laurie said...

I'm sorry, I refuse to read comments that are over three lines long.

Viking Andrew said...

This is about 10% related, and I'm sure you've all seen it before, but since I moved to Nac I've had to (re?)-discover chain restaurants. When I asked a lady for the best place in town to have dinner, she told me, "Well, the Chili's is pretty good, but a bit pricey."

Don't judge me if this is like soo 2004. I thought it was kinda funny.

Viking Andrew said...

What? Was that so wrong?

Internet John said...

@ Laurie
Your loss, skinny bitch.

@VA
The thing is, once you know a girl will go to Chili's with you, you don't even really care if you go to Chili's or not. You're like, "Let's just watch T.V. and eat bread out of the bag, or maybe I'll go for Thai by myself."

Viking Andrew said...

That's very true, I.J. Another epiphanic visit to Chili's occurs when you beg to go to Chili's for months--it's all you think about--and finally the girl you're with says, "Fine, okay. We can go to Chili's." But when you actually get to Chili's you realize you don't really want to be there, Chili's is better in principle and to look at online, and you would've rather stayed at home. But you can't just leave Chili's. So instead you have to finish your time at Chili's and then never suggest going to Chili's again.

DCP said...

My favorite part of Chili's is their delicious baby back ribs.

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LoCo said...

omg how have i never seen that link before? i spent the entire 2004 on the internet. awesome. almost as good as look-at-my-striped-shirt.

R3 HR Dept. said...

So ladies. Do you like Chili's?


STOP!


Does Mr. X's comment classify as a violation of Title VII, the state of Texas's discrimination and harassment act and/or federal EEO policy?

A) Yes
B) No
C) I wasn't paying attention because the man next to me released gas so atrocious I'm not convinced he hasn't soiled his Dockers

I.J. said...

I've never understood how some people can sit in a crowded room, bar, etc. and practically shit their pants: 1) The anus is a sphincter, and can close; 2) most public buildings have at least semi-private bathrooms for precisely the kind of situation we're talking about.

Internet Robyn said...

Fat chicks are totally cute. You can pinch their cheeks, horse around with 'em without worrying about breaking them, and when they sit on your lap you won't get jabbed by a bony bum.

They might share their corn, too, if you don't try to eat it off their plate before they even get a taste.

Internet Robyn said...

On a sad note, fat chicks don't live long when they are sold to 6 year-olds at a school market in South Korea. They tend to lose their eyesight in a matter of minutes and put in the garbage after being squeezed numerous times, much to the ESL teacher's horror.

I can hear the ass of the man sitting next to me no joke said...

Let's not colonize other cultures with our own whitebread bourgeois values, there, nazi mom.

They were probably Jap chickens anyway.