The Ticket is a sports radio channel here in Dallas I follow religiously. Fifty-percent of their content deals with local sports teams; the other fifty-percent is devoted to hilarious schtick, commentary and general grab-ass. The channel has had so much success its modus operandi is often appropriated by other channels, almost always ending in failure. (If you don't believe me, have a look at The Ticket's website and this talk radio website). My sports-hating girlfriend even listens now, which means she understands terms like Vaginal-Slice-Born-Born and the question, "Why are you yelling, you're a foot from me?" Rating: 98% (that is, not strug-u-ling)
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30 comments:
I tried talking like Scoops Callahan to Nixie once and she just slapped me. I'm guessing that Scoops gets slapped a lot.
Wolfgang
I'm sorry to hear that, Wolf. Scoops Callahan is a true American hero.
The Ticketchicks are hot.
The Ticket's coverage of the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) is abysmal. And cricket, what about cricket? It's like it doesn't even exist. Do they carry Hockey Night In Canada? No. Rugby? No. Australian rules football? No. Curling? Apparently that's not happening. Shame.
But I do like the 1920's guy.
1310 is great sports radio.
Since the sports radio in Houston sucks I'm forced to stream Dallas sports radio online.
I listened to 610 AM down there. I think it's called The Animal? The Beast? Something like that. I listened for as long as I could, though at some point throughout the day they'd start talking shit about the Cowboys, and I'd have to turn the radio off.
The Animal is 790. It's decent, but it's no Ticket.
Dallas has radio? And here I've been passing the time by listening to myself sweat and grind my teeth.
hey you guyz what would you say if i said i was both the fake posters and fake r3
(im gonna play a trick on i. jon (hes the fake postsers) no one tell hem)
Stossel Rooney is one of my favorite Ticket characters.
Wait until 2:00 on the first Stossel Rooney piece, if you want your bleeding heart to inflame.
"haven't had a #2 in over a week"...Stossel Rooney
Haha, funny shit. Crap humor. But I love crap humor.
hey yall im taking submissions to now! thats what i call r3 vol. 2 tell me if you have any suggestions:
i happened to find this randomly because it was on something like the 12th page of google after i searched "fence." so here's the deal, sparky: fence has more than enough literary merit and its editor has enough artistic sensibilities to be able to ignore and even quash your so-called "review," but i have to leave you a tip. if you want to "review" something, especially the SPAN of an ENTIRE MAGAZINE, you'd better come up with something a little better than "every inside looks like somebody barfed a punch of pencils." it's certainly easy enough to tell that your talents will never make it into the pages of fence, so i wouldn't worry about offending anyone with your word vomit. maybe you should go take a class, brush up on some grammar skills, and write something again when you have something worthwhile to say.
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Barren self-reference of name "R3FP" indicates an academic's or intellectual's characteristic lack of imagination. Rage masquerading as jocularity suggests postmodern sensibility + emotional damage.
R3FP, you're a bloodless, hating ghost. A starving worm with its mouth sewn to its own anus. A parasitical killjoy.
The difference between a groan-inducing "schtick" like Bertha and your own reflexive meanness is the love that makes someone want to make his or her friends laugh, and which dares to risk the possibility that they won't.
The best homunculi are nursed to life on our own blood, not other people's. You're a shameless, howling curse, and I feel sorry for you and your owner.
id kinda like to put the new r3 rulz post up here 2 but i hear mentioning that review will get a brotha baned
this one 2:
Adults need to act like adults and not like little asshole children.
Wait, you mean a 29 year old father of three and his friend's shouldn't track down and call a complete stranger in another state to try and make a fool of them?
You could have fooled me.
Although, to be honest, I'm pretty sure you were just trying your hand at viral marketing so I would come and read your blog.
aight this one not the popular choice but i kinda liked it 2 maybe we can put it to a vote:
Is this the part when I'm supposed to go psychotic and smear my mascara and scream "Leave Denise alone!"?
She's a friend, so that already biases me towards her defense. Rather than splitting hairs about her poetry's strengths and weaknesses, I'll merely point out the fact that, as an "accessible" poet, easy to read and interpret, she draws young people back into exploring poetry after their high school English teachers have brain-raped them with "The Waste Land," a poem that no one except a college lit or writing major should ever be forced to read and interpret.
She isn't Brent Newland for fuck's sake. When did R3 get so mean to people who've done nothing to us?
Diarrhea of the dead.
this 1 for melanie who sleeping in the clouds w/ angles :_(
Why? Because of the kerchief?
maybe like a readers digest version of league of extraordinary gentlemen and bob seeger coment
then mayb the one where viking andre was posting drunk and he didnt have a account to symbolize the future...
tia
Does anyone know WTF (n)BNL is talking about?
(n)BNL are you ok? I don't think anyone was intentionally trying to hurt you or anyone else, regardless of who has been posting as a fake person or not. John was lashing out, but probably because FR3P got under his skin. Everyone says some mean shit that is often times inappropriate, but in the end, we're all friends right?
Did you get it all out of your system now?
I hope so.
watever queermos see yall in hell
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What you should keep in mind about Mad Max is that it predicts the lawlessness that the world is heading toward. The government is spending an UNPRECEDENTED amount of money WE DON'T HAVE. Where do you think that value comes from? Money used to be tied to actual silver and gold, but now it is just meaningless. We had our chance last year to vote Ron Paul. Now that "WE'RE ALL SOCIALISTS" according to Newsweek, I suggest y'all keep a gun under your pillow for when unemployment skyrockets and criminals really are roving the streets like this movie so aptly predicted. Cheers.
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yea those were good 2
i dont remember that one anon can you give a link?
Hey (n)BNL,
Here's one from a guy named 'tom.' It's on Glenn's Atheism post:
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holy fucking fuck i leave for one day and comments all over the place like tribbles and shit
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Classic. Can it go on N!TWICR3V2?
ill allow it
WTF kind of fake ass name is "Tom"?
Anyone wanna try my ShamWow? Tell your friends about it. Call them in the middle of the night. Drunk!
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