Saturday, May 30, 2009

Fancy Cheese

So I was at this wine and cheese party in Dallas a couple of weeks ago and I got talking to these two Texans who agreed that brie is delicious once you get rid of the nasty white rind on it. This reinforced my suspicion that Texans are animals who should probably be fed from a trough of some kind.

RATING: Vive le Quebec libre%

(Image from www.ou.edu.)

27 comments:

Viking Andrew said...

"So I was at this wine and cheese party in Dallas a couple of weeks ago..."


0% to you.

Chris said...

Bam! Roasted.

John said...

Have another Bud Light, ass face.

Viking Andrew said...

"He followed her into the bathroom and sat on the shut toilet seat while she washed her back with a brush.
"I forgot to tell you," he said. "Liza sent us a wheel of Brie."

"That's nice," she said, "but you know what? Brie gives me terribly loose bowels."

He hitched up his genitals and crossed his legs.

"That's funny," he said. "It constipates me."

That was their marriage then--not the highest paving of the stair, the clatter of Italian fountains, the wind in the alien olive trees, but this: a jay-naked male and female discussing their bowels.


- From Falconer by John Cheever

John said...

What kind of man just sits there while a woman washes her own back?

Speaking of jays, did you know that scrub jays let other birds watch while they bury their food, then bury it again somewhere else once they're gone?

It seems really clever, except I don't know why the scrub jay doesn't just wait until no one's around to begin with. Maybe he shits in the hole, and it's like a dis' when the other birds dig it up.

Anonymous said...

John you got the ending part wrong, the scrub jay only moves it IF another birds sees him hiding it. Otherwise, he just leaves it. Weren't you paying attention in class?
That was the point. The jay KNOWS whether or not another bird is watching and is smart enough to re-hide her food.

Internet John said...

But seriously, were you paying attention in cheese class? 'Cause even a scrub jay knows you're supposed to eat the fucking brie rind.

(not) Brent Newland said...

heh... scrub jays... i dont know whats going on here

Anonymous said...

I tried it at another wine and cheese party, and I have decided it's not so bad. You win :)

loco said...

Fancy cheese is amazing. I'm okay with admitting that I am a person that owns a Cheese Book.

shoppista said...

I feel the rind is a personal choice. I like the rind, but I wouldn't judge a non-rind-eater.

Loco: did you read that article (maybe in NY Times) about the lady who did that local cheeses tour (in Spain, I think)? That is my dream.

loco said...

No, I didn't -- but now I will. I think Fancy Cheese should be enough motivation to get anyone to Europe.

Timmaaay!!! said...

I second that. Let's go right now!

laurie said...

Fuck that, the rind is gross. And I don't give a shit if you approve.

Internet John said...

People who don't eat the rind might as well wear velcro shoes and keep their money and ID in a fanny pack.

Some Frenchwoman sold me goat cheese over the weekend, and she was trying to explain to me that if there's mould in the hay, then one spot of mould on the rind equals 3000 spores in the air or some shit. They're very scientific, those Quebecois. They receive an excellent public education.

laurie said...

Science doesn't make the rind taste any better.

John said...

You're right. That's a different variable called class.

R3's Laugh Track said...

{Ooooooooh!}

Laurie said...

@IJ: While that was a really douche way to put it, I do have to concede that I usually eat the rind in public but cut it off at my house. So I guess you got me. You're still a douche, tho.

(Laurie, but don't want to sign in right now)

Internet John said...

@L: Does the rind taste better when you wash it down with tears?

Viking Andrew said...

I.J. is on a Slash-and-Burn campaign tonight. He already made fun of my heritage over on Facebook.

Internet John said...

Not true, tattletale. I made fun of your name. If "stool" actually meant "poop" in the mongrel Germanic sub-dialect spoken by your ancestors then I guess I'd make fun of them too, but it didn't come to mean "bowel movement" until the 16th century when we jacked "chair" from the French.

Viking Andrew said...

God. You're so nauseating, how can I help but love you?

When do you return to Dallas?

Viking Andrew said...

not help? help?

Viking Andrew said...

Anyway, I think rinds are good.

John said...

When I want to determine how many beers Viking Andrew has in him, using the internet, I multiply the number of times he tells me or someone else on R3 that he loves us by 8.5.

John said...

I'll be back in Dallas mid August. Don't know if we're driving or flying yets.