Horse-Boy

Last week, the BBC posted a story about a guy in Scotland wearing a horse mask who could be seen on Google Street View. The story was viewed over a million times and thus the legend of Horse-Boy was born. Personally, I could care less about who Horse-Boy really is and what possessed him to don the equine disguise. I just love to watch internet memes like this crop up. It's not like there's more important news out there that I should be paying attention to.

Rating: My 100th Post%

(Image from mashable.com)

Red Dead Redemption

Set in 1911 at the decline of the "old west," Red Dead Redemption is one of the best open world games I've ever played. It's made by Rockstar Games, who are most famous for the Grand Theft Auto series, and, yeah, basically it amounts to Grand Theft Horse, but is that such a bad thing? Those games are smart, hilarious, and fun to play, and this one is all of those things set in an amazingly beautiful pastiche of America's old west territories, and manages to pull off a much better emotional story than any of those games, too, with all the classic movie western themes of revenge and familial duty that would make Peckinpah and Leone proud or crap their dead pants because some kid's toy is ripping them off.

RATING: 95%

Something For Everybody by Devo

It's Devo's first studio album in 20 years, and boy do I remember standing in line at the record store in 1990 with my fifteen Canadian dollars ready to pop down for Smooth Noodle Maps. No I don't, but if I did or that had actually happened I would have been tres disappointed - that album blows. This one's pretty good, though. I guess if you can put out one good album every quarter century you shouldn't feel too bad about yourselves, but don't take my word for it. Dahda da!

RATING: 70%

The A-Team

Reviewing the A-Team movie is not an easy task. I loved the show when I was a kid (and still do), but it's not like it was a good show. The plot of the film is mostly inconsequential, the A-Team are awesome badasses who get framed for a crime they didn't commit, they go to jail, they break out, they try to clear their names and many things explode in the process. I've read a few reviews that criticize the movie for its outlandish action scenes and set-pieces, which is ridiculous considering the source material. Other than the unfortunate speed freak editing style, the movie is entertaining, the crowd I saw it with certainly enjoyed it. However, if your favorite member of the A-Team was the van, you will be disappointed.

Rating: 75%

(Image from flicksandbits.com)

Thunderball

I was pretty tired and hung over the other day, so I thought I'd throw on a movie that wouldn't take too much effort to watch. I went with Thunderball because it had been ages since I'd seen any of the classic James Bond films and though I'd seen Thunderball before, all I could remember from the movie was that it had sharks in it. So yeah, SPECTRE steals some nukes, Bond sleeps with every woman with a speaking role in the film, there's a scene with a jet pack, lots of underwater fighting, the aforementioned sharks, and the guy who played Felix Leiter looked very much like a young Clint Eastwood. Sean "You're The Man Now Dog" Connery is in top form as Bond and the movie makes a point to put him in a lot of familiar places (casinos, beaches, bedrooms, secret lairs), almost making Thunderball a "greatest hits" of Bond locales and cliches. In the end, it's a Connery-era Bond flick, which means it's awesome.

Rating: Way better than Moonraker%

(Image from movieposter.com)

Sunshine

It's the year 20xx, and the only thing that can stop the sun from going out is a team of angsty scientists led by the Scarecrow. I guess the movie was pretty, but I think it's clear that Danny Boyle has serious ADD because a) he can't hold a shot for more than two seconds without cutting to something else and b) he can't tell a story for more than 40 minutes without changing it to a different story. Well, the part where the dude had to jump into the merciless vacuum of space for two seconds wearing only fiberglass insulation was kinda cool I guess.

RATING: 51%

Real Ale Devil's Backbone

A Beer For Every State #6: Texas

Tries too hard and gives me a headache.

RATING: 60%

Splice

I actually heard the following comment as the credits rolled on Splice: "That's the most disgusting, fucked up movie I have ever seen." I can almost understand why the outspoken moviegoer felt that way. Splice is not an easy movie to watch, which should explain its poor box office receipts. It's a movie that has inspired both passionate praise and scathing criticisms. It's also virtually impossible to discuss the "controversial" elements of the film without spoiling most of Splice's final act. Fans of Cronenberg style body horror should check out the film, while those who think they're getting a retread of Species should consider another option at the multiplex.

Rating: An apprehensive 70%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Get Him to the Greek

Aaron (Jonah Hill) is a lowly record company employee tasked with getting whacked out rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand reprising his role from 2008's Forgetting Sarah Marshall) from London, England to the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles for a big comeback concert. Get Him to the Greek is an odd couple road trip comedy set squarely within the Apatow universe of films (the Apatowniverse?), which should tell you right away if this is the sort of movie you would want to see. Hill and Brand play off each other well, with most of the jokes stemming from the indignities Hill must suffer in order to get Brand's character to do anything. One of the most welcome surprises in the movie comes from Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs, who plays Hill's boss at the record company. Combs gets lots of good lines and doesn't have to stray far from his "real-life" persona. As mentioned, this movie is part of the Apatow canon, so expect colorfully casual profanities, minimal roles for women, drug use, characters who appear to have it all together but who are actually really lonely, and bromance.

Rating: 80%

(Image from filmofilia.com)

The Best Yahoo News Teaser Link I Have Ever Seen

Porn actor goes on sword-wielding rampage killing one

Sure, it's not exactly a happy news story, but it might be the most surreal thing I've ever read at 7 am.

Rating: WTF%

(Image from northsouthmedia.co.uk)

Star Trek: The Motion Picture

Everybody thinks this movie is bad, but it's actually a pretty good movie, although there's no shooting and explosions, though, heads up. The plot is basically all about how Gene Roddenberry is a giant atheist, as a weird space machine named V'Ger is heading towards Earth to talk to "The Creator." You can probably figure out where that one is going.

RATING: 76%

The Glenlivet 12

When I think of single malt whiskies I consider Glenlivet 12 and Lagavulin 16 to be at opposite ends of the spectrum. Glenlivet is light, sweet, easy on the wallet, and doesn't really give me a hard time. Lagavulin is dark, smoky, costs a fortune, and I can never seem to find it when I'm flush and in the mood. I guess they're a lot like Betty and Veronica, if the former were 12 and 16 years old respectively. Notes of smoke (duh), pine, citrus, ivory soap and honey.

RATING: 89%

(Image from www.boozebasher.com. Also, here's a review site with way more class than us.)