The Final Terror

It was supposed to be a fun weekend trip in the wilderness. Hiking, rafting, bonfires and a little bit of the old Mary Jane. But, what the campers didn't know is that they weren't alone in those woods. Something was silently stalking them and it knew the terrain a lot better than they did. Produced by Samuel Z. Arkoff, one of the co-founders of American International Pictures, The Final Terror was meant to capitalize on the success of Halloween and Friday the 13th. Unable to find a distributor, the film was shelved until 1983. Finally garnering a release after some of the cast had gone on to find more legitimate success. Said cast includes Daryl Hannah, Adrian Zmed, Mark Metcalf, Rachel Ward and Joe Pantoliano. Though light on kills and gore, The Final Terror has fantastic locations and an effective killer.

Rating: 64%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The Last Slumber Party

A violent psychopath escapes from the hospital and heads to his doctor's home, where the doctor's daughter just so happens to be having a slumber party. What began for the girls as a night of booze and boys will end with body bags and blood stains. Poorly shot, poorly acted and poorly edited, The Last Slumber Party is a pretty shoddy direct-to-video slasher flick. It lacks the charm and basic competency of other low-budget and/or independent horror movies. If you're thinking about watching The Last Slumber Party, maybe don't.

Rating: 49%

(Image from IMDB)

Humanoids from the Deep

aka Monster

In Creature from the Black Lagoon, it's implied that the Creature develops an attraction to Kay, the expedition's bathing beauty. If you're Guillermo del Toro, an idea like that might inspire you to make a movie like The Shape of Water, an Oscar winning romantic fantasy film. If you're Roger Corman, it might inspire you to produce a movie like Humanoids from the Deep, a movie where the creatures "kill all the men and rape all the women." Humanoids from the Deep is the kind of trashy movie that lets you know it's a trashy movie right away. The first victims of the creatures are a kid and a bunch of dogs. And then that's followed up by 80 minutes of explosions and gore. Back in the day, Leonard Maltin gave Humanoids a fairly favorable review and yet still referred to the movie as "gutter trash." He wasn't wrong.

Rating: 70%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The Psychic

aka Seven Notes in Black

After seeing visions of a murder, Virginia discovers a skeleton hidden inside the walls of her husband's country home. With the help of a parapsychologist, Virignia tries to unpack her premonitions and find the murderer. Stylish, with a great soundtrack, The Psychic is a fairly straightforward giallo. Despite being directed by Lucio Fulci, the movie, surprisingly, has very little gore. Although a sequence early in the film, where a woman's face is repeatedly smashed against the rocks while she falls down a cliff, goes pretty hard.

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Phenomena

aka Creepers

If you're wondering whether or not you should check out Phenomena, I can help you make your decision with just six words: Donald Pleasance plays a Scottish entomologist. Chances are you're either tracking down a copy of the movie right now or you don't like cool stuff. No, but seriously folks, Phenomena kinda took me by surprise. I'm not an expert on the films of Dario Argento by any means, but I really enjoyed the atmosphere and the cinematography of Phenomena. It's a weird movie about a girl, played by a young Jennifer Connelly, who tries to use her ability to communicate with insects to solve some murders. The movie's soundtrack is all over the place, switching back and forth between Goblin's funky score and random tracks from Iron Maiden and Motorhead. It's an odd film, for sure, but well worth a watch.

Rating: 72%

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Asylum

aka House of Crazies

After arriving at an asylum for the incurably insane, the young Dr. Martin is given a test: interview the asylum's patients and identify which one of them is the former head of the facility, Dr. Starr. Each patient tells Dr. Martin a story about how they ended up at the asylum but, can any of them be trusted? Can anyone at the asylum be trusted? Asylum was one of the more successful releases from England's second biggest (?) name in horror, Amicus Productions. Written by Psycho's Robert Bloch, Asylum has serious Tales from the Crypt vibes. Which is fitting, given that Amicus released two films based on classic EC Comics titles around the same time as Asylum. If horror anthologies are your bag, consider giving Asylum a watch.

Rating: 62%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Child in the Night

A nine-year-old boy witnesses his father being murdered by a mysterious man wielding a hook. As the police and a child psychologist work with the traumatized boy, more bodies with hook wounds begin to turn up. Child in the Night has some slasher elements, most notably the fact that the killer looks an awful lot like the killer in I Know What You Did Last Summer, but it's definitely more of a thriller/murder mystery. Elijah Wood, in an early role, plays the young boy. JoBeth Williams plays the child psychologist, Tom Skerritt plays the gruff Detective Bass and Darren McGavin, from Kolchak: The Night Stalker and A Christmas Story, plays the young boy's grandfather.

Rating: 61%

(Image from IMDB)

Bats

The small town of Gallup, Texas is besieged by a colony of genetically mutated bats. It's up to the town Sheriff and a plucky zoologist to find the bat's roost and put a stop to the killer colony before the bats can spread across the country. Bats is a smorgasbord of b-movie characters and concepts. The trio of main characters are basically the same as the main trio from Tremors. The scientist responsible for creating the mutated bats is pretty much exactly like the scientist from Piranha. The movie's plot is almost identical to Gremlins, with just a hint of Aliens at the end. The bats, when in puppet form, look like Ghoulies. And when they hunt, the bats use the Predator's heat vision. Since the movie came out in 1999, there isn't a whole lot of CGI in the film, which I definitely appreciated. Needless to say, Bats isn't particularly original but, at the end of the day, there are worse ways to spend ninety minutes.

Rating: 62%

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The Seventh Victim

Mary leaves her boarding school and heads to New York City to look for her missing sister Jacqueline. While chasing down clues, Mary begins to suspect that she never really knew her sister at all. And, the closer Mary gets to finding her sister, the more she begins to uncover about the dangerous people her sister was involved with. The Seventh Victim is another stylish and atmospheric horror film from producer Val Lewton. It's a sinister thriller with a curiously nihilistic undertone. And while it's not on par with Lewton's previous films, it certainly seems like elements from The Seventh Victim might have been influential on films like Psycho and Rosemary's Baby. 

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

The Little Shop of Horrors

In an effort to keep his job at the flower shop on skid row, Seymour Krelboined brings in a strange plant he's been growing at home. The plant, dubbed Audrey Jr., proves to be a big hit, bringing customers into the shop from all over. There's only one problem, the plant feeds on human blood. The Little Shop of Horrors is a morbid little comedy from Roger Corman. It's probably best known today as the inspiration for an off-off Broadway musical and the film adaptation of that musical, directed by Frank Oz. Corman's original version was filmed quickly and cheaply, naturally, which gives it a theatrical vibe. Jack Nicholson briefly appears in the film as a masochistic dental patient. 

Rating: 60%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Audrey, Seymour's co-worker (not the plant), was played by Jackie Joseph. Not only did Jackie Joseph play Mrs. Futterman in Gremlins and Gremlins 2, she also played Tackleberry's mother in law in Police Academy 2 and 4.

The Terror

A mysterious woman lures a young soldier to the Castle von Leppe. The castle holds many secrets. I'm not sure how else to explain it. The Terror isn't really a plot-heavy movie. Most of the film was shot over a couple of days on the set of The Raven. They didn't have much of a script to work from, so a lot of the movie is just characters walking around the castle. Several directors filmed additional scenes for the movie with Roger Corman tying everything together at the end. Well, I mean, he tried to tie it all together. An attempt was made. We can all agree on that.

Rating: 55%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Sissy

An influencer gets invited to her old childhood friend’s bachelorette party but then it turns out her former bully is there! Things take a violent turn and not everyone walks away with sashes and tiaras. It’s also pretty funny, so I do recommend.

RATING: 73%

House of Frankenstein

Dr. Niemann and his hunchbacked assistant Daniel escape from prison with two goals in mind: carry on the work of Dr. Frankenstein and get revenge on everyone who helped put them in jail. To avoid detection, they murder and assume the identities of some travelling showmen who just so happen to have the skeleton of Dracula in their possession. Niemann revives Dracula long enough to kill one of his many enemies but ditches the Count once the law gets on their tail. Soon enough, Niemann and Daniel find and revive the Wolf Man and Frankenstein's monster. From there, Niemann, despite having made various promises to Daniel and the Wolf Man, chooses to spend all of his time working on Frankenstein's monster, which proves to be his own undoing. House of Frankenstein is an interesting but flawed movie. It has the Spider-Man 3 problem where there are too many characters in the movie, many of whom are given short shrift. Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney Jr. are very good in their roles but John Carradine is a little miscast as Dracula. Daniel the hunchback, played by J. Carrol Naish, probably gets the best through line in the movie. 

Rating: 63%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Lamb

A couple farmers deliver a baby from a sheep that turns out to be half human. This is one of those “horror” movies whose purview is mostly just sadness. You’ll feel bad watching it but won’t be scared!

RATING: 67%

The Brides of Dracula

Over shots of the Transylvanian countryside, a narrator tells us that "Count Dracula, monarch of all vampires is dead. But his disciples live on..." And so begins The Brides of Dracula. But, you may be asking yourself, why call it The Brides of Dracula if Dracula isn't even in the movie? Is it even, technically, a Dracula movie? Well, if you want to get pedantic about it, there is some validity to that train of thought. However, given that Van Helsing is in the movie, I think we can give them a pass. Especially since they have Peter Cushing once again taking up the mantle of the fearless vampire hunter. The Brides of Dracula is a relatively small movie, there are maybe only two scenes featuring more than five characters on screen at the same time. It's a little slow and fairly chaste compared to some of Hammer's later movies. But The Brides of Dracula has enough going for it to keep it from being a total slog. The opening sequence has similar vibes to the opening of An American Werewolf in London and there's a great scene where the lead vampire sneaks up on a woman while she's looking in a mirror.

Rating: 64%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Demons

A buncha strangers get free tickets to a sneak preview but it’s put on by demons and instead of free popcorn you get a free murdered. It’s goofy but a lot of fun kills.

RATING: 75%

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A group of high school students are stalked by a mysterious figure in their dreams. The line between the real world and the dream world begins to blur as their nightmares get more intense and they begin to die off in unexplainable ways. Is it a case of mass hysteria or is there something from their past that has come back to haunt them? It's not surprising that they decided to remake A Nightmare on Elm Street, it's just a shame that they did such a poor job of it. All of the remake's nods to the original movie are very surface level and Freddy doesn't seem to have much of a power set. He can transport himself anywhere in the dream world but he never turns into anything or does anything particularly interesting. The movie opens with all of the main characters in a diner but there's no attempt to establish them on an individual basis. Yes, part of the plot is an investigation into their shared history but it's hard to care about characters that aren't properly introduced or fleshed out. Ultimately, the remake's biggest problem has to be its interpretation of Freddy Krueger. The new makeup design smoothes out Freddy's face, making it impossible to show any expression. And it's only made worse by Jackie Earle Haley's montone line delivery. Much like Freddy's new face, the whole movie ends up being flat and boring.

Rating: 58%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Invaders From Mars

A kid sees a flying saucer crash, and soon evil aliens are taking over every adult in town! It’s pretty decent for a kid friendly sci fi horror flick, even if I hated the ending so, so much (which apparently the 50s version did too).

RATING: 54%

Friday the 13th (2009)

While on the hunt for some weed they hope to steal, Whitney and her obnoxious friends find the dilapidated remains of Camp Crystal Lake. Jason Voorhees promptly murders all of them, or so it would seem. Six weeks later, Whitney's brother Clay searches the area hoping to find his missing sister. Clay ends up crossing paths with Jenna, her preppy prick boyfriend Trent and their obnoxious friends, who are all headed out to a cabin in the woods. What could go wrong? Spoiler alert: it involves more murders.

Rating: 69% (Nice)

(Image from Wikipedia)

Channel 13

This flick, from 80s and 90s straight to video shot on video gurus the Polonia Brothers, was made in 2015 after the surviving brother found some tapes with lost footage. He shot some wraparounds and edited together as an anthology. The lo fi 80s stuff works, but the new footage is obvious and there’s a buncha TikTok sound effects added in which take you out of the 80s vibe.

RATING: 41%

Halloween: Resurrection

Halloween H20 ended with Laurie Strode decapitating Michael Myers, seemingly putting a nice little button on the series. But, as we learn in the opening prologue of Halloween: Resurrection, Michael managed to pull a switcheroo and it was actually a paramedic under the mask that night. Three years later, we catch up with Laurie in a sanitarium, apparently guilt-ridden to the point of unresponsiveness. It turns out, however, that Laurie was just playing psychological possum because when Michael shows up, she has a trap ready and waiting for him. Unfortunately for her, Michael gets the upper hand and Laurie is killed. No need to feel bad for her though because this branch of the continuity will soon be both gone and forgotten. The rest of the movie follows some college kids who have been recruited to explore the old Myers house on Halloween night for a live streaming show called Dangertainment. Their shot at fame and internet glory takes a turn for the worse when Michael comes home. Halloween: Resurrection probably isn't anyone's favorite Halloween movie. But, given that the Rob Zombie and David Gordon Green films that followed it were also met with mixed to poor reception, Halloween: Resurrection might be due for a reevaluation. I'd hesitate to call it underrated, but it's probably not as bad as you remember.

Rating: 63%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Cemetery Man

A graveyard caretaker looks after the lawn and flowers and also has to re kill everyone buried there. Easy peasy until a lady he thinks is pretty gets buried! I mean, in my opinion it should still be the same difficulty because she is a corpse and etc. Really fun movie I’ve been trying to watch again for years and finally it’s streaming.

RATING: 83%

Leprechaun in the Hood

aka Leprechaun 5: In the Hood

Mack Daddy and his associate Slug stumble upon the Leprechaun and his gold in a hidden room. 20 years later, with the help of the Leprechaun's magic flute, Mack Daddy has become a powerful and feared rap music mogul. But all hell breaks loose after a trio of aspiring rappers break into Mack Daddy's place and remove a magic amulet from around the Leprechaun's neck. To give credit where credit is due, Leprechaun in the Hood is better than Leprechaun 4: In Space. It was a pretty low bar to clear, but Leprechaun in the Hood managed to pull it off. It's still a bad movie littered with corny rhymes and tasteless jokes, so it hasn't strayed too far from the other entries in the series but, again, at least it's better than Leprechaun 4: In Space.

Rating: 56%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Contamination

Some space aliens decide to lay eggs on earth and totally rip off Ridley Scott’s Alien for Italian reasons. It’s not good but there’s some fun splatter in it.

RATING: 46%

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins

The town of Rejection, Nevada comes dangerously close to becoming a ghost town after 17 miners mysteriously die in a nearby silver mine. With no one left to work, the mine's owner, Hiram Gummer, comes to Rejection to investigate. What he and the last remaining residents of Rejection soon discover is that strange creatures have infested the area. Tremors 4: The Legend Begins takes the graboid action back to 1889, roughly 100 years before the events of the original Tremors film. Like most of the other sequels in the franchise, Tremors 4 adds a new graboid variation into the mix. In this instance, we see the graboids in an almost larval state. The characters call them Dirt Dragons. This new incarnation eventually evolves into the larger form of graboid we're more familiar with. Also, in case you hadn't already guessed, Michael Gross plays Hiram Gummer, the great grandfather of Burt Gummer, the character he plays in all of the other Tremors films.

Rating: 59%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Alien: Romulus

A poor miner and her robot brother try to escape their planet with a salvaged ship fulla eggs, and not the kind you can benedict! The first two thirds are kind of bland, but the last bit is great.

RATING: 77%

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead

A prison transfer gone wrong leaves a cop and some convicts stranded deep in the heart of cannibal country. The practical special effects in Wrong Turn 3 are decent but definitely not as good as the ones seen in the franchise's first two installments. Bad CGI is more prevalent in this entry, which is a disappointment. The acting is fine and, thankfully, none of the characters are particularly annoying this time around.

Rating: 60%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Longlegs

An FBI agent searches for clues in a series of murders that seem totally random. But maybe there’s more to it hm??? People flipped their shit over this but I think if you weren’t raised Capital C Christian it won’t be as scary, though it’s nice to have lots of long unmoving shots every once in a while.

RATING: 76%

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

When we catch up with Brigitte Fitzgerald in Ginger Snaps 2, things are not going well. Having infected herself with her sister's blood, Brigitte is in a race against time to find a cure for her oncoming lycanthropy. Things only get worse for Brigitte after she overdoses on monkshood and finds herself in a remote rehab facility. And, on top of all that, there's another werewolf stalking her from the shadows. Though not as creative as the original film, Ginger Snaps 2 is a pretty enjoyable sequel. Once again, the practical effects and stylish camerawork do a lot of heavy lifting. But, this time around, they're aided by some great locations, some genuinely funny gags, and some distinctly Canadian elements. I don't know that I necessarily loved the ending of the film, but I didn't regret taking the journey.

Rating: 66%

(Image from Wikipedia)

MaXXXine

Well, the lone survivor from X has made it in Hollywood! As a porn star anyway. But hey why not try and break into the mainstream, that’s what the lady who killed all her friends wanted. It’s flashy and fun but nowhere near as good as Pearl.

RATING: 71%

The Omen

In an effort to keep his wife from finding out that their newborn baby has died, an American diplomat adopts a child and tries to pass it off as his own. He might have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for the fact that the adopted child is the motherfuckin' Antichrist. Since it's from the 70s, The Omen can be a bit of a slow burn at times but it's a surprisingly well made movie. The cinematography is incredible, with stylish uses of slow motion and reflections. The music is really good, alternating between big orchestral pieces, ominous choral arrangements and creepy synths. And they do a great job making you believe that the kid who plays Damien is hella evil.

Rating: 76%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Father Brennan is played by Patrick Troughton, Doctor Who's Second Doctor.