Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

Hoping to fight crime and improve public relations, Commandant Lassard starts a new community action group: Citizens On Patrol. With the help of his favorite academy graduates, the C.O.P. program recruits and trains civilians to aid in police work. The program is successful at first, getting a wide variety of volunteers, everything from young skate punks to an elderly gun nut. But with Commissioner Hurst and Captain Harris scheming behind the scenes, the whole program might be over before it starts. Police Academy 4 plays like a greatest hits version of the previous three films, so nothing feels particularly original here. The plot is pretty thin, with various set pieces having little relevance to the overall story. I'm looking at you, ninja gang. This time around we see the glorious return of G.W. Bailey as Captain Harris, now with Proctor in tow. Something about that pairing just feels right. Unfortunately, this is the last hurrah for Sweetchuck, Zed and Nogata. But, perhaps worst of all, the movie ends with Steve Guttenberg's Sergeant Mahoney getting into a hot air balloon with Sharon Stone's character (yes, Sharon Stone is in this movie) and flying off, never to be seen again.

Rating: 65%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: The young skate punks are played by David Spade and Brian Backer, who was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and The Burning.

The Horns of Nimon

A transport ship hauling precious cargo to the planet Skonnos gets stuck in a gravity whirlpool. Soon enough, the TARDIS gets drawn into the same whirlpool. When the Doctor and Romana board the vessel, hoping to free everyone, they find out that the ship is carrying radioactive materials and human sacrifices to be given to a creature called the Nimon. But what is the Nimon and what is it up to on Skonnos? I wish I could tell you that it was something cool or interesting but that is not the case. The Horns of Nimon is a pretty weak serial overall. The acting isn't very good. In the Nightmare of Eden review, I praised Lewis Fiander for going big with the Professor Tryst character but in The Horns of Nimon Graham Crowden, who plays Soldeed, goes way too big. He even mugs to the camera a couple of times. Some of the background actors look bored and seem to be waiting for their scenes to end. The look of the Nimon isn't very good either. The combination of platform shoes and a large head must have made it very difficult for the actor, spoiler alert: actors, playing the Nimon to walk because everytime the Nimon moves it's in big, swaying, unbalanced steps. All of that, along with a fairly boring storyline, make The Horns of Nimon pretty forgettable.

Rating: We're up a gum tree without a paddle%

Total Recall

Every night, Douglas Quaid dreams about Mars and a mysterious brunette. Are they just dreams or are they memories buried deep inside his brain? Is it even his brain? Total Recall is an ultra-violent sci-fi action movie directed by Paul Verhoeven, based on a story by Philip K. Dick. The plot combines a twisty-turny spy narrative with clever sci-fi concepts and then Verhoeven throws in enough violence to put his own RoboCop to shame. I keep bringing up the violence because Total Recall is so unbelievably, gleefully violent. At every opportunity, Total Recall goes over the top and then some. If you've seen the film, you might remember that there is a woman in the movie with three breasts. You don't get to see her topless just once. No, you get to see her topless three times because that's the kind of movie it is.

Rating: 82%

(Image from Wikipedia)

Fun Fact: Robert Picardo, from Star Trek: Voyager and countless Joe Dante movies, provided the voice for Johnnycab.

American Splendor

American Splendor, the comic, was based on the life and experiences of Harvey Pekar, a lonely curmudgeon from Cleveland. American Splendor, the movie, is a biopic of sorts about Harvey Pekar and the American Splendor comics, starring Paul Giamatti as Harvey Pekar. The actual real-life Harvey Pekar also appears in the movie, narrating parts of the story and commenting on the film itself. On paper, it sounds like it shouldn't work but it does. It's a charming comedic drama that occasionally breaks the fourth wall with documentary-style moments featuring the real people being depicted in the film. Paul Giamatti, in an early leading role, gives a memorable performance.

Rating: 80%

(Image from Wikipedia)